“

‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.’
Just go to school, Ferris.

“

“I dropped my goggles and was trying to reach down in the river and grab it but I pulled out a sheep skull by its sockets.”

“

My cousin looked down in the canal and say a really nice jacket floating along and being a weird scavenger person decided to reach in to fish it out. Well, the jacket turned over. And so did the man wearing it. He also had no face left.

“

“Guards can and will withhold medical treatment.”

“

“I have a regular with a Mickey/Donald role play fetish.”

“

Fishing out the pube from your mouth after going down on someone.

“

“I realized I had always had these underlying assumptions that people of other races were ‘different’ than me. And then I realized they aren’t.”

“

It’s okay to make mistakes. We are all human and are not perfect.

“

“This guy walks in and is immediately jumped by 4 dudes. One guy takes out the metal strip to a safety razor and precedes to cut this dude’s fucking ear off.”

“

“Losing friends. Also gaining a lot of weight I’m now having a hard time getting rid of. Eat healthy, kids.”