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Damian was a cyclops. Yes, a real live cyclops. I watched tears trickle out of his single eye as he hung his head of floppy brown hair and cried.

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“I honestly feel no connection or love for either of them.”

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For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

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“At six years old he burned down the family home on purpose to kill his father for not getting him a Star Wars toy.”

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5. Ditch your old bad habits and reinvent your self this holiday season-try identify theft!

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I killed a man named Frank in 1987. He was a hitchhiker that I picked up in Utah.