“

A young Aquarius is stubborn and will go against authority for no reason at all, but a grown Aquarius is a rebel with a cause.

“

“The wound is where the light enters.” – Rumi 1. When you give other people advice, it feels like you are telling your younger self what you needed to hear.

“

If you’re like me — and I’m sure loads of you poor bastards are — you went to college not with the intent of honing a specific trade or skill, but rather, simply because you thought you ought to. Or were told you ought to.

“

1. The Irrational Confidence Guy

“

It’s like the social media version of meth. You know that the disdainful spite-scrolling is only raising your blood pressure, grinding your teeth down, and generally making you an overall worse person.

“

These kids are very loud, very plasticine, and somewhat hillbilly.

“

It’s weird that we don’t have media where women are rewarded for developing the courage to walk out on disappointing, terminally-adolescent screw-ups.

“

She is the true wifey material, not like all of those other hoes who eat ramen noodles and let forks chill in their sink, unwashed, for days at a time. She is the future mother of your well-fed children.

“

When people ask me why I shave my head bald at 22, I usually offer a variety of witty reasons like “I lost my comb!” or “A handsome face needs more space!” just to deflect the conversation back to something of substance and to take your gaze away from my alluring shiny dome.

“

What I’m saying is, I’ve been to big arena concerts, I’ve been to tiny bar concerts, and one thing is always the same: the people (and, let’s be real, beer always costs at least $7).