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The boy blames others for his shortcomings; the man figures out how to eliminate or mitigate them. The boy does the bare minimum in order to get by; the man does more than his share of the task, one hundred percent and then some. The boy believes that the world owes him something; the man knows he must earn everything. The boy avoids the consequences of his actions; the man accepts them, no matter how painful.
Due to the huge popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, and the thousands of erotic novels available, you’d think that powerful and successful men like to be dominant and act out their sadistic sex fantasies on socially awkward and somewhat powerless women.