The Little Peasant Girl Whose Farts Healed The Sick Jim Goad “ “It is her!” went up a shout from the crowd. “It is the miracle girl! It is the girl who can heal the sick by breaking wind!”
The Man Who Felt A Literal Pain In His Ass Whenever He Acted Like A Pain In The Ass To Someone Jim Goad “ Garry Cubit was the worst kind of annoying person—the kind who had no idea he was annoying. If you acted annoyed, he’d act surprised, which was even more annoying.
The Woman Who Invented An STD For Men Who Didn’t Make Her Cum Jim Goad “ There would be no cure for his disease. But for Fernita Chemise and the rest of the world’s unsatisfied women, the disease itself was the cure.
The Man Whose Penis Started Shooting Bullets One Day Jim Goad “ As the morning desert sun began blasting in through the bedroom window of his small stucco cottage, Magnus Gompers started the day the way he always did—by masturbating in bed.
The Man Whose Cell Phone Started Texting Him Hostile Messages Jim Goad “ To his tremendous discomfort, he realized the messages were being sent from his own number…to his own number.
The Day God The Father Decided He Wanted A Daughter, Too Jim Goad “ One day God the Father was sitting up in heaven reading The Holy Bible, and he realized how patriarchal it all was.
The Man Who Gave People Cancer When He Shook Their Hand Jim Goad “ “You came promising a cure, but instead you brought the disease.”
The Conjoined Twins Who Were Always Arguing About Politics Jim Goad “ They shared the same heart, the same torso, the same ass, the same penis. What they didn’t share were any opinions. They couldn’t even toast a slice of bread without a vicious political argument breaking out.
Jim Goad 
