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Killing time, I went to the Grand Army Plaza library, where, to my surprise, I found Volume 38 of Contemporary Literary Criticism. In it are entries for John Irving, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Ntozake Shange, Truman Capote, Peter Handke, Claude Levi-Strauss, George S. Kaufman, Christopher Durang, J.R.R. Tolkein – and me!

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I’d like to take the HTLV-III antibody test just to know, even if the gay health experts advise people not to take it. If I tested positive for AIDS exposure, I’m not sure I’d panic or get depressed, but I probably wouldn’t get so upset at the problems of day-to-day life. (I worry more about Sean than I do myself.)

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I’m scared about moving to Park Slope – imagine me living in Brooklyn again after all these years – but I’m also excited. Let’s put it this way: it has possibilities. Even a wary Teresa allowed as how it couldn’t do me much harm. She realizes, as her mother said, that our inertia feeds off each other, and to get moving, we have to separate.

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When a famous movie and TV star and friend of the President and his wife gets AIDS, it’s top-of-the-broadcast news. I hope it will help the ordinary people who are dying of the disease. It’s terrifying how many people I know, or know about, who have contracted AIDS or have already died.

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At Noodles on 72nd and Amsterdam, Ronna seemed a little weird, and when we started dinner, she told me she’d had a date on Thursday with a guy in publishing. She said she wanted to “clarify” things, but I wasn’t sure what she meant. I told her it didn’t bother me at all that she would see other guys and I encouraged her to do so.

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Teresa called from Fire Island, where she ended up calling the police to try to force a defiant Carol out of the house. I was disturbed to hear that things had gotten so out of hand. The police couldn’t talk Carol into leaving, so the war between the women just escalated.

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I can’t let life defeat me; I’ve got to give it another shot. Hell, I’m young and strong and talented enough to get myself and Grandma Sylvia on the front page of today’s Miami News. And tonight a reporter for the Neighbors section of the Miami Herald wants to interview her.

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People seem very anxious. The extent of Reagan’s victory – and the Republicans’ sweep of the Senate – has surprised even the conservatives; some liberals are still shell-shocked. People who never talk about politics are now talking about politics, and that seems to me the worst sign of all.

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We got a cab to take us to the Sheraton Centre for the New York Press Club’s annual Byline Ball. Arriving just as the cocktail hour was breaking up, we headed for our table, where we sat with the head of the Parking Violations Bureau and his wife.

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Right now I feel really creepy, like I’m not myself but some creature from another planet, an alien being. In a way I wish I could have gone with Wolfgang last night, traveling across America for the next few weeks.