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“Harry Potter and his magic wannikah celebrate Hanukkah.”

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What we forget when looking through magazines is that the images of these models are exotic, digitized renderings of bodies taken apart and put back together again to look a certain way, a way that is, by and large, unreal for the human species—transcending reality.

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Why not end an email with a quality signature line, an inspirational quote, or some wickedly random anecdote?

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Christina Aguilera went to my high school (North Allegheny). My psychology teacher said she was a bitch and smelled like uncooked hot dogs.

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It’s not an insult that you don’t want to meet every guy you connect with, and trust me: for most of them, that’s going to be a huge relief.

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Seth MacFarlane doesn’t hate racism. Rest assured, America: Seth MacFarlane hates you.

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I was stunned by that first viewing. I saw in quiet awe as the credits rolled. It was transformative. I couldn’t have told you then exactly why.

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WE CAN HAZ MOVIE??? …Wait; that’s the wrong meme. Sorry, sorry.

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“Did you hear that Ashton Kutcher cheated on his wife? What a slut.”

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It’s a land of simultaneous anonymity and overt friendliness. Things happen there that people in other states wouldn’t, couldn’t, fathom.