“

Can you get through all of these without losing your mind?

“

8. I once walked in on my parents while they were in bed. But they were asleep, so I left.

“

Travis calls all his players together near the bench. “Huddle up, pussies.” They congregate around him and await his instructions.

“

“Please open this when the time is right.” He waits for her to ask when that will be, but she doesn’t, and that hurts him inside, where he is soft like a woman. “You’ll know when the time is right.”

He walks away, on the verge of tears. The girl opens the envelope and looks inside. It is empty.

“

He is sporting cool shades and a leather briefcase, sipping at a Capri Sun pouch like he is cock of the walk. He spots a sexy prepubescent girl at her locker down the hall a ways. Travis approaches her briskly and with the utmost confidence.

“Eighteen yet?” he asks her without shame.

“

Travis exits the car and walks the perimeter of his vehicle to make sure there is no damage. He fails to notice the young lad under his car, and his mangled leg which he has just run over. Finding no problems, Travis gets back into his car and drives away, leaving the boy in the middle of the street.