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My friend is pro-Action. And so am I.

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When you’re in a healthy, loving relationship with the man of your dreams and you get pregnant accidentally, you still have reproductive rights. I chose to exercise mine.

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All in all, my services made everyone happy. I was a hero to the girls, and enigma to the boys. I was content. I should have known there would be consequences.

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There’s this pervasive myth in conservative media that abortions are somehow depressing or uncomfortable for women.

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For those not up on their gestational timeline, a heartbeat can be present as early as six weeks. That’s sooner than a great number of women even know they are pregnant.

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Sometimes it’s OK to go on a six month downward spiral, as you long as you’re chic about it. Basically, there’s a right way and a wrong way to be a disaster. Like, you can’t just show up to your abortion wearing sweat pants. What if you ran into a street style photographer on the way there?

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Go to a house party where you know no one and start telling people your name is Ursula and that you do tarot. People will look confused but eventually ask you to read their cards because they’re NARCISSISTS. Agree to do so and bring out the Death card. Tell them that this means they’ll either die a horrible death OR end up on reality TV.