“

Also, we know you never beat Shaq. Sit down, boy.

“

Other benefits of the Now! CDs included not having to bring your entire case of CDs everywhere with you (even thought I did anyway, Hoarders: Now! Edition), hearing up-and-coming artists, and having edited versions of your favorite songs to play at your 6th-grade birthday party without mom yelling at you.

“

So the other weekend… I met Aaron Carter. Not only that, but I got his number, too. Yeah, that is right.

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Despite his “zany” style of comedy and physical expression, I imagine Martin Short for the most part enjoys clean, straightforward sex.

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Aaron Carter could dominate the social web.

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Okay, Howie, A.J., Brian, Nick, and Kevin (especially Kevin); alright. I’ll show you the meaning of being lonely. But I think you already know it.

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I wore the most androgynous of children’s clothes. Half of them were hand me downs, from my male cousins. She and my father weren’t progressive parents. They weren’t actively avoiding gender norms. Now I think they just had no idea what they were doing.

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Here, in no particular order, the wordsmiths and their craft that should probably not get their rapper license renewed this year.