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I never knew how bad I needed this until this very moment.

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Want to get into the holiday spirit? Start streaming these Christmas- and Hanukkah-themed shows.

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It’s like the Earth put all of the worst things that have ever existed into a blender, and then chugged it way too quickly, and you are what came out the other end.

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Dean Forester, Gilmore Girls. The collective dating history of the Gilmore Girls were, to quote Phoebe Buffay, a who’s who of human garbage. And, Dean is the most garbage.

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I want to go to there.

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“I don’t need a birthday, ’cause I buy myself all the presents I need. And because of my drinking, they’re often a surprise.”

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“Seeing @RealTracyMorgan, Liz Lemon, Jack Donaghy, Jenna, & Kenneth together again was amazing. Hope T got all of them pregnant. #SNL #30Rock.” –Kay Cannon

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“Did I even sleep? How can I be this exhausted after…sleeping? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF EVEN GOING TO BED?!”

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I’m sorry to say this, but although people have been lead to believe that every person, in some way or form, enjoys the act of showing affection, that idea is incorrect.

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You set aside at least an hour each day to stare at yourself in the mirror. Usually while crying. You’re a beautiful crier.