Like under that gross attitude and propensity to belittle everyone, there’s actually, like, this really cool guy who just, you know, has feelings and stuff.
College was a much easier transition for you than it was for a lot of people. Name games, introducing yourself over and over and over, getting lost, asking for help, having no clue what you were doing – that was your entire childhood.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” “I’m not in a place to be with anyone right now.” “I value you too much.”
Clean out your damn closet. Like, hardcore purge. Resist the urge to come up with bizarre situations in which you will need that one top you haven’t touched in three years, and just toss it instead. Be ruthless. You will then realize that you wear the same ten things anyways.
“Anytime I tell someone I’m an Atheist, I feel like they immediately think of me as a lesser person.”
The person who says they’ll only eat one piece of pizza when you’re putting in the group order is actually the one you have to watch out for. “I’ll just have one little piece.” NO YOU WILL NOT KAREN YOU LIAR.
“Coffee Addict”: You talk about coffee as if you roast the beans yourself, but let’s be honest—you use a Keurig like the rest of us peasants.
Asking permission for a sleepover at your friend’s house took 37 hours of mental preparation, a detailed powerpoint presentation of your friend’s family tree, and a signed contract in your blood saying you wouldn’t drink and would be in bed by 10pm.
Getting to a point in your life where you look at teenagers and college kids and think, “I’m so glad I’m not in that stage anymore,” as opposed to, “I’d give anything to go back.”