There is nothing like walking into mall and being surrounded by Mother’s Day celebrations. It was May again, but on this particular occasion there were no joyous feelings elicited by the “celebrate your mother” parade, mostly because it was just two weeks after my mother’s passing, so none of it made my heart smile, it was suffocating.
Three years later and well, it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow and I’m experiencing a well of mixed feelings. I still cringe a little every time a Mother’s Day advert pops up on the TV, but I don’t hate the holiday. I don’t think Mother’s Day is a money-making, socially-constructed holiday hell bent on the exclusion and isolation of all those “sans a mother figure.” No, I don’t think it should be banned because not everyone can relate. Instead I actually appreciate it. I appreciate it because there is a whole day dedicated to mothers, and I know if mine were still here, I wouldn’t hesitate to celebrate her.
Have you ever come across this term “singles awareness day”? You know, it’s what some people (single people) call Valentine’s Day (because you are made more aware of your singleness when everyone is celebrating love). Similarly, Mother’s day is to me “Mother Awareness day.” The name isn’t the reason why I appreciate the holiday, although the day irrefutably heightens my loss it also magnifies the beauty, love and presence of our dear mothers in our lives. We are more aware of them on this day that any other day, which is especially good for those few (yeah I’m looking at you!) who may have forgotten that there is a woman out there who loves and supports you relentlessly, day in and day out.
Yes, Mother’s Day is hard for me, but I think it is even harder for the mothers out there who see their children everyday but never get any sort of acknowledgement. I think it’s harder for mothers who feel unappreciated and overlooked by the people they care about the most. If any of my babysitting escapades with my beautiful nephews has given me anything to go off of, I can tell you that taking care of a child is hard. Imagine actually raising one. I’m sure it’s hard taking care of the house, keeping those “know-it-all kids” in line and still trying to make a living. It is hard but mothers do it anyway .They go through the motions and they give you their wellbeing just to make sure YOU are okay.
I truly believe that a woman who raises up a child with love and care — through the thick and thin, even when we are being very unlovable little rascals — deserves the world, because it is no easy feat.
To think of the kind of support a mother gives (going above and beyond) and sure it’s a little over the top sometimes, but we love you for that, moms.
We love that you see the greatness in us even when we just want to hide behind everyone else.
We love that you teach us about life even when we don’t want to listen.
We love (not in the moment but in retrospect we get it!) that you give us tough love when we need it.
We love that you are always there for us even when you are going through tougher times.
We love that your bosom is always there for us to cry on when we are just having a bad day.
We love that you love us.
We love that you sometimes mix up our names when you want something.
We love that you have trouble using technology sometimes, but it’s okay.
We love that you are always a pillar of strength when we feel a little less than.
We love that you tell everyone we are doing better than we are actually doing (the real MVPs).
We love that you believe in our dreams (or at least the dreams you had preconceived for us even before we were conceived).
We love that you believe in us.
I could go on all day, but to all the mothers and mother figures out there, know that you are loved. You are appreciated. Even though we may fail to show it all the time, please remember that we love you.
Forget Wonder Woman, Moms! You guys are the real deal. There are things that go on around us that we never have to face because you already have it under control. There are so many demons we never have to challenge because you already fought them off. There are so many disappointments that could have crushed us, but you always have a way of picking us up off the ground. You are the real heroes!
So here is to all the moms out there.
We love you!
Happy Mother’s Day!