How will you move on if you keep on looking back?
You said you do not care anymore. You said your feelings already died. You said everything is over.
But why are you still here? Why are you still stuck?
Is he still important? You don’t know. You thought the answer is no b ut right now, you’re not sure about anything anymore.
First cuts are always the deepest. He was your first love, your major heartbreak too. To say that you’re hurt is an understatement. You are broken.
He took pieces of you that’s why when it ended, you were left in nothing but a hopeless heap of what ifs and if onlys.
It was a constant cycle of holding on and letting go and in the middle of all the confusion, you somehow realized that no matter how slowly you walk away, he wouldn’t even follow and stop you.
You don’t know when the feelings would go away completely. You hope that it would be soon enough because you are tired of hurting, of longing, and of loving the very same person who built you up only to break you down just when you’re about to believe that forever does exist.
You are slowly moving on but you still haven’t moved on completely. The regret is still there. The longing is still there. Love, even if you deny it, is still here.
You have a very long way to go and you are already fed up of asking why even if you gave everything, it still wasn’t enough.
You wish that today is the day when you wouldn’t give a damn about him anymore.
You wish that today is the day when you would be able to look at his pictures and not feel even the slightest twitch of pain in your heart.
You wish that today is the day when you would be able to say that it’s finally okay for you to see him with someone new.
However, that day is not today.
But you can always try again tomorrow.