Maybe It’s Time To Start Trying Again

woman sitting on stairs drinking coffee
Kinga Cichewicz

It takes a lot of courage to stay after years of running away. You’ve had your fair share of stupid mistakes and poor decisions when it comes to love. You’ve let go of the good ones and held on to the wrong ones. You’ve learned to build walls out of regrets and doubts. You’ve burned bridges and isolated yourself every time someone wants to reach out.

It’s a safe choice. It’s a good move. You have saved yourself from further heartaches and heartbreaks. Nobody can hurt you. But it turned out; no one can make you happy either.

It’s the price you have to pay for choosing to feel nothing. You chose to be void of pain and sadness but as well as joy and happiness.

You’ve heard a lot of people say that they wish to be heartless, that they wish to stay within the walls they have created out of desperation and exhaustion.

You don’t blame them. You can’t blame them because you’re one of them.

Isolation is one of your defense mechanisms. For years, you’ve chosen to be alone rather than to risk the chance of failing in a relationship. You’ve chosen to give up before you even tried fighting.

You can’t win if you won’t play, so they say. Love is a game and losing is just as normal as winning. It’s a quest for finding the right one. But when the one comes, how will you react?

You sure don’t know how. Not yet, at least. You’ve messed up your chances and until now, you keep on trying your hardest to stay and not run away. You’re trying to be brave and to open your life to those who want to be a part of it. You’re doing your best to show what you feel even if that means being vulnerable again.

You’ve learned that love comes with pain. It comes with disappointments and fears. But what separates successful relationships from those that failed is the courage to take risks and see if the one you love is worth fighting for.

Only the strong ones have the capacity to love truly and deeply. But before you get the strength, you have to get hurt first. 

You’re done hurting. Maybe it’s time to start trying again. TC mark

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