I Honestly Think My Wife Hates Me And I’m Not Sure What To Do About It

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sad guy sitting on couch
Nik Shuliahin

So you think your wife hates you. It sucks, really—feeling this way. Because you didn’t start out like this. There was a time when a podcast called ‘My Wife Hates Me’ wouldn’t have appealed to you—at all.

In the beginning, it was easy. You and your wife got along so well. You were that couple—the one everyone envied. The ones who were going to make it. Who were going to be together forever.

You considered her your soulmate. Your person. Your ~*~everything~*~.

She was the love of your life. The one you were going to grow old with. The peas to your motherfucking carrots.

She made you believe in Fate, goddamnit.

In short, you were in madly love.

Back then, you would stay up late into the wee hours of the night talking about what your future would look like together. About the bigger house you’d one day live in. About the kids you’d delight in. About the money you’d save. The trips you’d take. The memories you’d make.

Sure, you would fight sometimes. But things never got THAT bad. And with one look deep into each other’s eyes, you could fix things. By morning, it was as if nothing had even happened. You were still the golden couple, navigating life’s up and downs as a united front. The ones who would defy divorce statistics. The ones who made it look so simple.

But time went on, and your relationship changed. Ever so slowly, you grew more distant from each other. You stopped going out of your way to do especially kind things for one another. You stopped noticing when the other person came home with a new haircut. You stopped aching to share each and every detail of your day over a warm meal or an icy cold cocktail. You stopped calling each other from the supermarket to double check if there was anything you could pick up for them.

Time is a true test for every couple. The truth is, lasting love requires a hell of a lot of work. Love doesn’t just magically stick around, no matter how hard you fell for each other to start.

So if you’re feeling like your wife hates you, ask yourself WHY? How did you arrive at this place? How did each of you play a role in the disintegration of what was once so beautiful?

Does your wife hate you because she’s changed, or because you’re no longer treating her quite the same as you were at the beginning of the relationship?

Does your wife hate you because she’s crazy, or because you’ve stopped trying to understand her?

Does your wife hate you because she’s no longer in love with you, or because she feels exactly the same way you do: Tired.

Chances are, your wife doesn’t actually hate you at all. She’s just exhausted, like you are. And she doesn’t know what to do about it.

For a lot of couples, that lustful stage doesn’t last. It doesn’t end abruptly, but instead wanes over time, ever so gradually, so that you barely notice it’s even happening. And then one day you wake up and realize that you’re in a very different place than you were on your wedding day.

Maybe you can’t go back to exactly the way you once felt. Maybe you can’t reverse whatever damage has been done. Maybe you can’t say sorry enough times or apologize your way out of the rut you’ve dug yourselves into.

But you can make things better. You can remember how to love each other again. You can choose to respect each other enough to  You just have to agree to work your asses off. You BOTH have to commit to saving your relationship—to finding it within yourselves to shelve the resentment and remember how much love you have for each other.

Don’t forget that no human relationship is beyond repair. As long as you commit to doing the work, you can get back to a place where neither of you feels so full of contempt. You can get back to the place where you look fondly into each other’s eyes, and yearn to see each other after a long day. To the place that feels like your forever together was written in the stars. Destined. TC mark

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