1. He should make you feel beautiful naked. Not even the most body confident women are entirely satisfied by their appearance. But when you’re with your forever person, you should feel beautiful naked, with or without the lights on, whether you’re wearing a sports bra and granny panties or a lacy bra and a matching thong. He should melt at the sight of your bare physique because he worships your every curve and crevice. You deserve to feel desired just as you are, whether you’re in the best shape of your life or you’ve put on a few extra pounds.
2. He should kiss you everywhere. Lip-locking is great, but kissing isn’t just about mouth-to-mouth action. A true gentleman will worship your body from head to toe—literally—by kissing you in places others have never visited. Your forever person should surprise you from behind with a tender kiss on the back of your neck, or pucker up and carve a trail from your pelvis to your breasts. He should insist on kissing your toes and fingertips. There should be no part of your body he doesn’t ache to caress with his lips.
3. He should ask you questions. Some things can be sensed between the sheets, but when it comes to pleasing you sexually he shouldn’t rely on his intuition entirely. He should check in and ask you questions about what’s working for you, and what’s not. He should open up the lines of communication about all things sensual because he cares about satisfying you to the best of his ability.
4. He should listen intently, and make you feel heard by applying whatever pointers you give him. When two people care about each other, the lovemaking should get better and better as time goes on. He should do everything possible to ensure that you’re comfortable and that your sexual needs aren’t just being met, but exceeded. When you give him a tip, he should go above and beyond, doing everything in his power to blow your mind.
5. He should tell you that your vagina is beautiful. When he goes down on you, he should pause every so often to reassure you that your vagina is beautiful—that it smells and tastes exquisite, and that every pink fleshy fold is perfect. He should compare your vagina to a stunning, rare flower, or give it a special name. Yes, your forever person should worship your genitals.
6. He should love making you wet. Whether he’s fingering you or burying his face between your thighs, the act of turning you on should bring him immense pleasure. As your vagina moistens, it should be a cue to him that he’s doing something right and he should rejoice over this evidence that he’s one step closer to making you climax.
7. He should tell you that you’re driving him crazy in the best way possible. Compliments aren’t just for foreplay. He should find the time to tell you just how much you turn him on—before, during and after sex. Because you’re irresistible.
8. When you go down on him, he should make you feel good about it. Maybe you’re very sexually experienced and you’re great at oral sex, or it’s your first time giving a blowjob. No matter what, going down on a man should be an act of reciprocal pleasure. He should give you helpful tips if and when it seems appropriate, and urge you trust your instincts, ensuring all along that the process is as pleasurable for you as it is for him.
9. He should look you in the eyes. It’s important to feel connected to another person during sex, and the best way to do this is through eye contact. Even if he’s taking you from behind, there’s always an opportunity to pause briefly and lock eyes to re-establish that critical sense of interconnectedness. He should always carve out a moment to penetrate you with his gaze.
10. He should try his absolute best every single time to make you orgasm. If he cares deeply about you, he should care deeply about your sexual satisfaction. He should not be selfish in bed because he should view lovemaking as a chance at growing closer as a couple.
11. When he doesn’t manage to make you climax, he should feel somewhat disappointed. Of course it’s unreasonable to expect every sexual encounter to end in orgasm for everyone, but because he longs to get you there, he should express at least a hint of discontent when it doesn’t actually happen.
12. He should refer to sex as lovemaking. He shouldn’t be too “manly” or too proud to use the term lovemaking, because “fucking” and “hooking up” just don’t cut it. He should embrace the fact that he’s found someone to make love to rather than just have sex with.
13. He should snuggle you afterwards. He should hold you tight and make you feel safe and loved for as long as you wish. Your forever person should be grateful for every second he gets to lie with you in bed, whether you’re humping like rabid animals or quietly cuddling.
14. He should encourage you to masturbate. As a champion of your sexuality, he should urge you to explore self-pleasure. No one should be expected to abandon masturbation altogether, even once you’re in a serious long-term relationship. Solo sex is just another path to satisfaction and your forever person should understand that. He should ask you to tell him about it and maybe even ask you to do it in front of him so he can learn from watching you touch yourself.