Don’t Let Facebook Ruin Your Relationship

There is no doubt that Facebook and other social media sites have had a huge impact on modern life. The site was originally developed to assist people in communicating with each other, especially if they were living some distance apart.  It should be the perfect venue for couples in a loving relationship or even family members, to keep in contact with each other no matter where they are in the world.  However, as is so often the case, the site has been hijacked and now serves an altogether different purpose.

The Shout Out

If you look on Facebook at the accounts which pop up at random you will notice a common factor.  Many couples appear on Facebook and post comments and pictures every day, sometimes it is even done several times a day.  All of the pictures and posts have the same theme; look how perfect our love is and our lives.  Of course, it is not possible for anyone to have this perfect a life and these couples are simply obsessed with generating the right image and being congratulated by everyone else.  They are effectively praise seekers. In many ways these couple’s lives are that bad that they feel the need to create a perfect façade for others to see.  The real question is whether they are obsessed with their relationship or their own image.

The Unfeeling

The other type of couple which appears frequently on the Facebook site is those who are eager to display every piece of information concerning their life, their love, relationship, family and even their daily toiletry habits!  These are the people which have no respect for their loved ones.   Instead of dealing with any issues privately they are happy to share their views and opinions to all and sundry; even if these opinions hurt the person they are supposed to love. Of course their partner is posting the same type of information and their entire relationship is publically exposed; confirming just how little they really care about each other and how little they do together.

A couple in love will not want to discuss their intimate details with others, they will be happy to deal with these issues on a one to one basis.

The Good Relationships

These are exceptionally noticeable on Facebook, by their absence. The better the relationship, the less information which will appear, on this, or any other, social media site. This is because a couple in love will be focused on each other, on doing things together and building their relationship, not on which detail they should share with the world next.  A relationship is full of private moments, intimate encounters which create lasting memories and even secret jokes.  It is these types of encounters which build and strengthen any relationship and are the events which you would not want to share with any other person, even a family member.

In fact, these couples are noticeable on Facebook as they are the ones quietly posting information which is only visible to their family and friends.  It will be information which shows they are doing well and that they are out doing exciting things.  Indirectly this will be linked with the fact that they are in a new relationship, but this will never be mentioned directly.  In fact, the strongest and healthiest relationships will be indicated by the lack of a Facebook mention.  These are the people who use Facebook for its originally intended purpose and not to try and become a mini-celebrity.

Relationships are not meant for the whole world to see

Relationships should be intimate, romantic and discreet. Why should anyone care when you fight, if you fight, if and when “it’s complicated” or whether or not you just split up? Too many people live their lives on Facebook. What happened to intimacy? Couples should avoid flashing their relationship on social media. Those that brag about their perfect affairs and dreamy travel spots are usually unhappy. Basically, you feel the need for everyone to envy you because there’s really nothing to be envied about your relationship. Happy couples live their lives in the real world; they go out, they take pictures, and they enjoy each other without feeling the need to update their Facebook status or say how they’re feeling in that moment.

The next time you start a new relationship, or if you are currently in one you should consider whether you really need to post the latest development onto Facebook; a healthy relationship needs no advertising; on Facebook or any other site. Share your happiest moments with the person standing right in front of you because they’re the ones that matter. Never forget that life is too short to be spent in front of a computer screen. Do more and think less! Who cares what people think of you? What matters is that you are fulfilled in your relationship and that you’re living life to the fullest. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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