As women, we have been taught to be good girls, obedient, tidy, and smiling. Sometimes unspoken, we were brought up in an environment where we need to be rescued by Prince Charming.
Think about Sleeping Beauty or Snow White who wait to be saved by the Prince. When we’re little, each of us secretly wants to be like them – beautiful, innocent, and in love. Each of us wants to be the Princess.
Later on, we read in the magazines that we should wear particular kinds of clothes, comb our hair up a certain way, and play all sorts of games to attract the attention of men. In high school, it was alright to be mean – actually, it was perceived as a strength.
From romantic movies, we have learned that we should wait for Mr. Right. It doesn’t matter whether he’s already in a relationship with someone else, whether he cheats on us, or whether he needs time to realize that he wants us.
Every typical romantic movie ends with getting him and being a complete woman for the first time in life. Without him, we’re nothing.
In romantic books, we read about the secret or not so secret suffering of women who fall in love with bad boys. The main character is sure that this is the ‘’love of her life’’ and she hopes to change him until he realizes that he loves her too.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’ve had enough of these manipulations telling us that there is nothing more important in this whole world than getting the love of a man.
In kindergarten, my female friends envied me and were jealous of me. The reason? I’ve always had a long blonde hair and blue eyes.
The fact that I was repeatedly chosen to play Sleeping Beauty in a Christmas play didn’t help much. I thought that it would get better after going to elementary school — well, not really.
Although I was the youngest in the class without any idea what numbers and letters were, I became the best in reading and computing immediately. My classmates had a love-hate relationship with me. They didn’t dare to say anything to my face, but they were secretly gossiping about me.
Then I happened to be the best at sports and participated in many competitions. In high school when everyone is lost, I thought that I should limit my inner light. For some, I was too optimistic and happy. For others, I was too beautiful or smart.
Either way, I started to see that my light intimidated others. Therefore, I decided to ‘’look normal’’ and pretend that I was just like my classmates to avoid this negative attention.
I’m 29-years-old now, and I still see that I can intimidate my friends or colleagues. I can still see the envy and jealousy between women. Does it ever stop?
I guess that the reason they’ve envied me is that we as women have created so many illusions about what it means to be a woman.
I call it the Princess Syndrome. Without even noticing it, we’ve been taught to envy other girls whom we perceive to be the Princesses. Every woman wants to be in the middle of the attention and attract Prince Charming so he can “save” her.
I see women secretly competing with other women. It’s enough to walk down the street and observe how women are looking at each other. With hidden hatred and envy.
What if what makes the Princess beautiful isn’t her looks but her inner light?
Wanting to be a princess (even unconsciously) keeps you away from your dreams.
Think about it for a moment, when you believe that being the Princess who is saved by Prince Charming on his white horse is the ultimate goal in life, what do you do? Keep waiting. And meanwhile, of course, try to look the best so he notices you and chooses you once he arrives.
If there are other Princesses, you feel threatened by them, so you compete with them, envy them, and gossip about them.
Living in this way, you can never start living like your life really matters. You feel incomplete without him, so you don’t create the life that you dearly want. You tell yourself that it will come once he marries you. Thus you cut off parts of yourself and put your life on hold.
Do you know what the funniest and saddest thing is? He doesn’t want the needy Princess who is envious of other Princesses. He wants a real woman who enjoys herself and her life, regardless of whether he has arrived yet.
What makes you beautiful is your inner light. It’s when you pursue your dreams and make the impossible possible. When you wish the same happiness on other women. You don’t fear them anymore because you don’t fear your inner power.
When you focus on yourself, your inner growth, and cultivating your beautiful heart, then miracles happen. Then you can have anything you want because only then you’re in alignment with the Universe.
I believe that it’s time to drop this Princess Syndrome because it doesn’t serve you. It only makes you wait for something that is already within yourself.