When you move somewhere new, immediately seek out a wine or liquor store and make friends.
Chillin. Last night was really fun. Thanx for being so cool about me bringing my friend STD along
Is it unreasonable to dress up as the guy who owns the deli by my house?
I just can’t understand why anyone would want to lug socks from home, rent out stiff shoes that smell like middle school, eat subpar nachos, and chuck some dangerously heavy balls down an alleyway.
Do you think they’re open about their Jerry Springer past or do you think they try to keep things hush-hush?
If you, too, are this kind of specific P. Diddy — AKA a person who’s constantly on-the-go but whose checking account rarely has a comma in it — take notes. I’m here to instruct you on how to be one part glitzy hip-hop star, one part transient homeless person.
Why is every single male here wearing a striped collared shirt? Does this place have a uniform I should be aware of?
This job requires you to be three things at all times: sober, focused, and responsible for the lives of young people. I am hardly willing to be these things under normal circumstances, let alone while Ke$ha is playing and free booze is being doled out.
The great thing about the 4th of July is that it gives you a shameless excuse to celebrate the best things about America — excessive food intake, loud noises, and flagrant laziness.
I’ve come to realize that some things about the gym will never stop being weird, no matter how many times a week I show up.