Soulmates Aren’t Who You Fall In Love With – It’s Who You Share Your Life With

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We’ve all heard of people finding their ‘soul mates’, and it always seems to be on a cheesy E-Harmony or Match.com commercial. Lately, though, I’ve been thinking that we may just have this whole ‘soul mate’ concept wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my boyfriend of three years unconditionally, and he is most definitely the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, if someone were to ask me if he was my soul mate, my other half, the only person I need in this world to be happy, my answer would not be yes. There’s a person who gets me more than anyone ever has or I believe ever will: my best friend.

Yes, we’re BFFs in the traditional sense you all know about; we have fun, gossip, stay up all night watching movies and painting our nails together. But I think we’re much more than that: we’re soul mates. If I were to go up to someone and tell them that my soul mate is a girl, they’d immediately assume I was bi-sexual or a lesbian (nothing wrong with them folks, it’s just not the team I play for). The concept of a soul mate has always seemed to have romantic implications, but I’m not sure it should.

The dictionary’s definition of a soul mate is this: a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. While I think this is an accurate definition, I would like to share with you my personal definition for this term.

Soul Mate (n.): A soul mate is someone you can tell the most outrageous, if not psychotic, thoughts that you have throughout the day and feel sure that they won’t judge you for them. A soul mate is someone who thinks so much like you that they will send you a text at the exact same moment you send them one, and both texts are about the EXACT SAME THING you just saw someone post on Facebook. A soul mate is someone you can hang out with for hours and do absolutely nothing with, but still have the greatest time you’ve had in weeks.

A soul mate is someone who knows the deepest, most hidden parts of yourself and still loves and accepts you because of how these things have shaped you. A soul mate is someone you go to when you’re feeling completely and utterly lost and they help you find your way back. A soul mate is someone who has been there through thick and thin, and even when 8 silent months passed after a fight you had, accepted you back into their life with open arms.

So you see, while my romantic relationship brings a type of fullness and happiness to my life that I’m immensely grateful for, nothing will match the bond I have with my BFF.
I’m proud to call her my soul mate, my other half, the peanut butter to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni, the….ok you get it. But seriously, if I’m being completely honest here, my life would suck without her. I’m so lucky. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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