Lesbian… CHECK! Gay… CHECK! Bisexual… CHECK! Transgender…Check! Questioning/Queer… CHECK! Allies… Think again!
Not many people are aware that asexuality is even in existence. The thought that sex could be undesirable is a concept that in today’s time seems odd, especially with the media plugging sex into every aspect of life. But with the rise of the LGBTQ communities in the past few years, it’s about time the A’s got a little bit of recognition.
Asexuality, in simpler terms, means that a person doesn’t feel any sexual desires towards others. Now while you may be considering how this affects peoples romantic relationships, don’t worry, you don’t have to. There are so many different subtypes of identifying as an asexual person. There are sex-positive asexuals, who are open to the idea of engaging in sexual relations. There are sex-negative asexuals, who never want to engage in any sexual activity, ever.
And then there are sex-neutral asexuals, who wouldn’t necessarily jump to the chance to have sex, but maybe with the right person, they wouldn’t shoot down the idea. And regardless of the many subtypes, you might be very surprised to know that sometimes sex doesn’t play a huge role in relationships, and not having sex works for all parties involved. But do understand that people who identify as asexual can experience romantic attraction towards others.
It is also important to remember that identifying as an asexual person does not make you, for lack of a better word, a prude, (which is also never a bad thing; you don’t owe anyone anything). Never assume that an asexual person is a prude, or that they have had some disastrous sex in their past. Some people just don’t like sex- get over it; the lack of sexual feelings will never invalidate a human being.
Many people assume that because asexuals are paired together with the LGBTQ community, they must all be in some way queer, and that would be a huge misunderstanding. Asexuals come in all shapes and sizes. No matter what sex, gender, or lack thereof, anyone can identify as asexual.
Being queer and a part of the LGBTQA+ community do not always go hand in hand. Many people who hold a place in the LGBTQA+ community do not identify as a queer person, which in part is why we have so many non-queer people speaking up for the LGBTQA+ cause.
The LGBTQA+ movement will always need people who are willing to stand up and fight for change, and as a queer sex-neutral asexual, I say the more the merrier! But, let’s also try to remember that if you identify as a cisgender heterosexual you aren’t apart of the community; you are a part of the movement. Let us have a year in which the A stands not for allies, but for actual members of the LGBTQA+ community. Lets make 2015 the year in which asexuals feel like they have a home.
If you or a friend think you might identify as asexual and want someone to talk to or more in-depth information, check out: http://www.asexuality.org/.