Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like you don’t know what to do because there are so many opinions and options surrounding you. You get in this slump where you lose sight of what you actually want. Calling motivation, where did you go?! It’s as if you have gone numb. In no way do you enjoy feeling like this. It’s not like you feel like this all the time or go hole up in your room under the covers. It comes in waves. Overwhelmed by the million and one opinions you receive, whether you ask for them or not, you start to wonder at what point you stopped trusting the one person who knows you best: YOU!
We’ve all been there. Heck, I am there. (Post Grad blues is real y’all!) But, no one actually talks about it or prepares you for when you find yourself in this position. The worst part is we are told to simply ‘get over it.’ There is apparently no time to actually feel this way, a pressure to move forward and put our problems in the past tense. While you know and are a firm believer in not comparing yourself to everyone else, you can’t but help to. All you are seeing are everyones happy moments as you scroll through Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and an unhealthy number of blogs (guilty!).PEOPLE, where are the struggles?! No one is admitting to them.
Let me let you in on a secret. This slump, the one where you have no idea what you want, the one where no one else seems to get it or be in it for that matter, IT IS REAL. But, it is HEALTHY and you aren’t alone in it. Your fire hasn’t gone out completely, it is still burning softly. Though it absolutely sucks, you can’t rush the discovery and healing process. A friend of mine gave me Mitch Albom’s, Five People You Meet In Heaven, and in it it says “In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.” So those days when nothing seems to be going right and every single thing is annoying you? Those days when you feel like you are about to burst or just need to get out away from everyone? HAVE THEM. Just because your problems don’t seem like problems in the grand scheme of things doesn’t mean they are any less worthy of caring about. If all you can do that day is muster the energy to binge watch Netflix, it’s ok. Don’t be ashamed of what you are feeling or doing. Before you can help others, you have to help yourself.
Even though it doesn’t seem like it, you are doing way better than you know, gorgeous girl. You are doing your absolute best and right where you need to be. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Now is not the time to give up. Your time is coming, and you ARE going to make it. Mistakes are OK, mistakes are progress. Failure is full of magic. You are the QUEEN of your own life. It’s scary knowing that any moment you could completely change who you are or change your whole world. But, no matter what you will always be capable of amazing things. Without even knowing it, you are inspiring someone right this moment.
But, in order to do this, you have to do you. This isn’t for anybody else. This can’t be for anybody else. Everyone is going to have their opinion. People are going to come in and out of your life. You have to know your worth. You MUST do you, girl. You know the inner depths of your heart, what you ache for. Self discovery is necessary. Remember who you were before everyone told you who to be. You do not have to prove yourself to anyone. Do not bang yourself up with the fact that you aren’t where you thought you would be. Darling, you are anything but ordinary. You aren’t the kind of girl that settles. So keep not settling. Get back on that horse. This is not the end. Look at your record for making it through bad days so far. You are unstoppable. The world needs women who know how to do hard things and prove they are better for it. You ARE one of them.
Alice Walker puts it beautifully, “Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening…Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”
Please never stop being odd in the most wondrous of ways dear. Find your inspiration, find what makes you happy. Create your own sunshine. Take it day by day. Trust yourself. Trust your heart.
You do you, girl.
You’ve got this.