It’s Okay To Be Selfish, As Long As It’s From The Heart

Alexander Mils
Alexander Mils

Yes, I wrote this specifically for you and if you find yourself reading this that means you are ready to own your inner power and begin living selfishly. You may be wondering, “Why would I want to live a selfish life..isn’t that a bad thing? You would be right in thinking this.

There is a negative type of selfishness that we are all accustomed too. This selfishness comes from living outward-in. It is ego driven and it tells you to go after material gains such as money, clothes, and fancy cars. It tells you to take what’s yours without regards for other peoples feelings, constantly keeps you on the defensive and leaves you feeling like you will never have enough.

However, the selfishness I speak of is not driven by the mind or ego. it is heart driven. This selfishness comes from self-love and care and awakens you to the beautiful being that you truly are!

Heart driven selfishness is about caring for yourself on a deep inner level, allowing you to live authentically and with purpose. 

Not too long ago I lived my life powered by the ego. I was depressed, angry, confused and depended on other people for everything. I wanted it all; popularity, the nicest car, all the money in the world and a romantic relationship to fill all the voids within me. I was mean to others at times, manipulative, out of control and did not care how my actions affected those around me. I had completely abandoned myself and blamed the world for all my problems.

Until one day I realized that I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I didn’t want to be controlled by my thoughts or behaviors. I didn’t want to be dependent on external factors or people to create who I was. I wanted to find my own way and live the life of my dreams. I wanted truth and a purpose. This sparked my own journey of selfishness. I began reading books about gratitude and meditation. I reached out to loved ones and began talking about my insecurities, fears and doubts.

I also started searching deeper within myself for answers to questions I could not find anywhere else. Slowly more light began to shine on me and I stopped abandoning myself. I began a new relationship with myself that has been driven by self-forgiveness, self-love and self-care. I began to see beyond the need for nice cars, money, popularity, good looks, a romantic partner and into what was truly important, ME.

Most of us abandon ourselves and rely on external factors and people to create our circumstances. By doing this we lose our power and we end up feeling alone and unworthy. There is no one else in the world, better yet, there is no one else in the whole universe that is better at loving you than your own SELF. As long as we are dependent on external forces to fill our voids we will always be searching for the next thing, the better relationship, or more money.

We will miss out on all the miracles right in front of us! Now is the time to turn inwardly and live selfishly from the heart. The journey to the heart takes patience and compassion. True healing does not happen over night. It takes determination and drive. The first step is to stop blaming the world, other people and most importantly stop blaming yourself. I believe in you and know that you are capable of embarking on this journey!

Below I have included some self-love tips that will help you as you begin cultivating your inner selfishness. Once you start this journey there is no going back! You will begin to notice that you feel more free, your relationships will be deeper, more satisfying and loving, and more and more abundance will flow to you.

Tips for self-love:

  • Begin replacing negative statements like: I can’t, I will never, I doubt; with positive statements like I will, I can, I always write down all the reasons you dislike yourself, all the times you felt you made a mistake, and all the pain you are still holding on to. Then rewrite the list starting with, I forgive myself for…
  • Practice gratitude: find 10 things that you are grateful for everyday and give a reason for why you are thankful. It helps to write them down in a journal as you begin. Ex: I am grateful for my eyes because they allow me to see the beauty that surrounds me.
  • Set healthy boundaries: say no to things that no longer serve you and yes to those that do.
  • Find a balance between giving and taking.
  • Find one thing you love to do such as singing, writing, dancing, reading and set time aside to do it everyday.
  • Meditate: For 5 minutes each day stop and just breath.
  • Forget about all that is around you, all the work that still needs to be done, the people that need your help and the things you need to do and sit with yourself.
  • Be in nature
  • Do a kind deed for someone else

Ayurveda for Self-care: I also wanted to include a few tips that will help you to maintain your physical health.

  • Self massage: Good for circulation, nervous system, and improving complexion. Do this daily after your shower. It is best to use oils. Sesame oil: fall/winter Coconut oil: Spring/summer
  • Triphala: a mixture of natural herbs that helps to cleanse toxins from the body and restore balance. (1/2 tsp with warm water each night before bed)
  • Tumeric: helpful at maintaining the body’s immunity, boosting the nervous system, boosting energy, and decreasing pain. (1/4 tsp in warm almond milk)

The most important commitment you can make is the one to YOURSELF. You deserve it!! TC mark

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