Over the past few years, the word “bitch” has taken on a new meaning — or, more accurately, women have reclaimed the meaning it’s always held. Rather than describing a woman who’s mean, nasty, and out to put others down, we bitches are beginning to understand that we’re really just assertive, confident, and unwilling to take sh*t from anyone.
While many of us use the label to celebrate our professional ambitions and accomplishments, as Nicki Minaj does in the song “Boss Ass Bitch,” the “bitchy” way of doing things applies to our love lives as much as it does to our careers.
Here are nine unique behaviors of bitches in the realms of dating, love, and sex.
1. We make the first move.
Bitches don’t need wait for someone to give us what we want. We go after it ourselves. That’s what’s gotten us ahead in our careers, and it’s what gets our love interests’ attention. We don’t worry about rejection because we don’t see any good reason why someone would reject us. If they do, we attribute it to their own poor taste.
2. We heed red flags the first time.
Before I grew into my own bitchiness, there were too many times when I gave someone a second chance who didn’t deserve it. Every time, this proved to be a bad decision.
If someone majorly wrongs you once, they’ll do it again. And if you stay with them, you’re telling them it’s OK to do it again. A red flag is a sign that someone will hurt you if given the chance. Bitches don’t give anyone that chance.
3. We don’t settle.
Whether we learned this the hard way or from another smart bitch’s advice, we know there’s no use in sticking it out with someone just because we’re afraid we can’t do better or we hope they’ll grow on us. We’d rather be alone than be with someone who causes us more pain than happiness.
4. We enjoy the single life.
We love our own company, so we would only choose to share our lives with someone who makes them even more amazing than they already are, and that’s a tall order.
5. We don’t feel competitive with other women.
We understand that romantic success is about compatibility, not merit, and we trust that the person most compatible with us will choose us back. If someone else turns out to be better for them, we’d rather they learn that now than always wonder who else is out there.
6. We communicate our desires in the bedroom.
As usual, Nicki Minaj sums it up perfectly: “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that.” We believe we deserve as much pleasure as our partners, and we’re not afraid to tell them what we need to achieve that.
7. We care about our partners’ desires as well.
We’re confident enough to not only ask for what we want, but also ask our partners what they want. And we don’t take offense if we have to switch things up to give them the best experience possible.
8. We end things before they get really bad.
We don’t latch onto relationships that aren’t working just because we’re comfortable in them or we don’t want to break anyone’s heart. Even when it completely breaks our hearts as well, we do what is necessary for both parties to move on as quickly and with as little damage as possible.
9. We grieve unapologetically.
We know there’s nothing about being a bitch that prevents us from feeling and expressing pain after a breakup. Heartbreak isn’t always about feeling incomplete or like you won’t make it alone. We can be the most badass bitches in the world and still fall to pieces after a breakup, and we know that’s OK because we trust ourselves to put the pieces back together.