Every tiny decision in my life summons an angel and devil onto each of my shoulders for a heated debate, and I don’t think I’m alone. For everyone else out there who treats what to order for dinner with the same gravity as whether or not to invade a country, these struggles are all too real.
1. Zigzagging down the sidewalk because you can’t tell if you’re supposed to pass the person coming toward you on the right or the left, then doing an unintentional little jig as they get closer.
2. Being stared down by storeowners while you take ten minutes examining the packages of snacks to determine which provides the most ounces of food per dollar.
3. Considering way too many factors in every decision: If you go out to dinner Thursday, the avocado on your windowsill may be overripe by Friday, so you’d better move your plans to Wednesday and eat the avocado at its peak.
4. Asking your server to circle back to you after they’ve taken everyone else’s order.
5. Finding said server again after you’ve deliberated over your order and placed it because you’ve decided you’d actually prefer fries to potatoes.
6. Tracking down said server yet again because — what were you thinking? — there was a reason you settled on potatoes in the first place.
7. Looking like you have to pee really badly shifting around in your chair as you repeatedly consider getting up then deciding against it.
8. Getting dangerously low blood sugar while you wonder the streets trying to settle on a restaurant until you just sit down at the closest place possible because you need to eat something, anything, ASAP.
9. Baristas asking you what’s wrong because the agony of deciding whether to order a latte or cappuccino is showing on your face.
10. Everyone you text seeing the typing bubble for minutes at a time as you craft and re-craft your messages.
11. Spending a greater portion of your evening traveling between bars than sitting at one.
12. Getting utterly paralyzed at the sight of all the toothpaste brands on the shelves of your local drugstore.
13. Rarely listening to a full song because you’re constantly flipping between radio stations.
14. Clothes you’ve tried on and taken off piling up on your floor each morning.
15. Staying on the verge of breaking up with someone for months because you just want to be 100% sure it’s the right decision.