It was beautiful. Airy holes unevenly dispersed through the loaf. Perfect thickness of dark crust.
Why are ankles a thing?
Signed the contract exactly six days ago. Went to view the house for the first time six days ago. Walked in and examined the wooden floorboards. Knew it was meant for me.
You officially have work in less than two hours and the countdown begins.
Cleaned the fridge yesterday. Disaster.
If I do actually meet the end of my life in another shower incident, I want it to be absolute carnage.
Utter humiliation can be a cherished time in our lives. I’m only now realizing that.
Swiping right has exposed me to a whole range of human specimens.
“Quinoa!” my dad exclaimed. “The South Americans have been eating that for years. You people think you discovered it.” He looked at us in disgust. I looked at him in perplexity.
“Hey,” said my housemates two days ago. She was the first to crack. “Is it just me or is the toilet harder to flush?”