14 Things I Want To Say About Being A Musician, But Never Actually Say

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1. I love being a musician. I really do. I love the city of Birmingham, AL and could not have picked a better city if I had the choice. (I didn’t have the choice; I was born here.)

2. I love that my passion is my livelihood. I also hate that.

3. To everyone who told me I should get a day job: you were right.

4. To everyone who asked me what my “backup plan” was: shut up. What’s YOUR backup plan?

5. No, I don’t plan on getting a music degree just so you can validate my career in your thick head. Sorry. (If you have a music degree, I totally respect that. I’m so not good enough with numbers for that and I applaud you.)

6. No, actually I’m not responsible for filling up your bar with people. You are hiring me to entertain the patrons of your bar, and if you are completely dead without me bringing people in, it sounds like that’s your problem and not mine.

7. OMG NO I DO NOT KNOW “Insert really obscure song here that absolutely no-one knows and you’re just saying it to sound sophisticated.”

8. Do I look like I can sing Hank Williams Jr.? Hello?! I’M A GIRL!!

9. “You should try out for American Idol.”  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told this, and thank y’all for the compliment. To be perfectly honest, though, I don’t want to try out because I know when I get kicked off I will take it extremely personally and my self-esteem will be shattered forever.

10. Ummmm NO, I will not play just for the door and no guarantee. Did you forget the part about this being the way I pay my bills, put gas in my car, and feed myself?

11. And hell no, I will not play for free or just “for the exposure.” Seriously, think about what you’re saying. Would you like to work for free? Didn’t think so.

12. Yes, this is an actual job. Please do not call it a hobby, side job, etc. I may have fun and love doing it, but I’m ready to go home at the end of my workday (2 am) just like you are. A lot more work goes into it than meets the eye. I unfortunately do not have a team of roadies who load my car, set up the stage, and break it down for me. Yup, I do that myself. And then there’s the hours I spend calling and going to bars trying to get myself booked, writing new songs, practicing, and singing “Wagon Wheel” more times than I can count.

13. I actually love “Wagon Wheel.”

14. If I weren’t playing music for a living, I would be doing everything I could to get to that point.