You’re in a new relationship – congratulations! The sex is great, he holds the door open for you, and you can’t stop smiling. Welcome, darling, to the infamous “Honeymoon stage.” Everything’s new, everything appears perfect, but is it really? You aren’t perfect, and neither is he. Let’s pull off the rose-colored infatuation glasses for a moment to help decipher whether this relationship is the real deal.
1. You need to stay over.
Never rush to move in, but make sure you stay a few nights. If you’re looking to get serious there’s nothing wrong with staying over his place, or visa versa. This is a clear opportunity for both people to get to know the living habits of the person they’re dating. You’ll find out if they’re messy, their sleeping patterns, and if they ever cook at home. This could be a make it or break it moment, so proceed with caution.
2. He can’t always pay.
Sure, he pays for the first couple of dates, and on sites like WhatsYourPrice.com, he even pays you to go on the first date, but this shouldn’t happen forever. As a lady with a job, you need to make an effort, even if he declines your offer. On date three you should be suggesting a contribution, then proceed to discuss how outings will be handled in the future.
3. Sensitive topics must be discussed.
On a first date, most people avoid bringing up religion and politics – unless they want to send their date packing. But after you’ve been dating someone for a couple of months, you shouldn’t be avoiding a discussion about Socialism or Hinduism for example. Speak your mind before it’s too late! No one wants to date someone for 6 months only to find out they have fundamental differences.
4. You need to see each other at your worst.
I’m not saying you should throw yourself down a flight of stairs and see what happens, but if you find yourself sick, or in a car accident when you first start dating, it could set an enlightening tone for your future.
Does he help take care of you? If he is feeling under the weather, are you at his place with homemade soup ready to give him a massage? If you care about him, and he cares about you, you’ll go to great lengths for the well-being of your partner.
5. You need to give more than you take.
Successful relationships take ample work and generosity, so be a giver. Taking is great, but you need to give as well. Make him dinner or surprise him with tickets to the game. Fellas, bring her flowers, or surprise her with her favorite takeout. Everyone wants to feel special, and it’s even more special if both people are involved.
Embrace the Honeymoon stage, but don’t get blindsided by it. The last thing you want is to waste your time when you could have been with someone more fitting.