Study abroad in Paris. Pretend to be sexually experienced. Make up an elaborate story about having anal sex with an Irish man in a rugby tent. Everyone will buy it, and give you high-fives.
He was really into the fact I was Catholic. He texted me a lot. It was hard to keep up because I still had a flip phone, and had to press 7 four times if I wanted a V. He came to a few of my band’s shows. I really liked kissing him but was not passionate about it. We went sledding in Prospect Park. We didn’t have a sled so we had to use the broken pieces of plastic on the hill. While he was kissing me I looked over his shoulder and watched a plane. It was a movie-perfect date but not passionate.