if my younger self could read this, maybe i wouldn’t’ve been such a hot mess. so here they are—all the valuable lessons i have learned through the years, through the self-hate and the pain and the happiness and joy.
1. i know it hurts. i know it’s sad, agonising, disappointing. but sometimes in life, you have to live with it. even if what happened tears you apart. even if what happened was your greatest fear. you have to realize that you did everything in your power to heal, to avoid the problems, the pain. life doesn’t work that way. no matter what and how much you plan, there’s always something that holds you by surprise. and sometimes you have to make peace with the storms rather than wait for the rainbows to come along.
2. there will be times when you will realize that you have lost what you loved over self-respect, and that’s okay. nothing in this world is of greater value than your self-respect. you must realize that by losing what you loved, you have preserved the far greater gift of life—yourself.
3. you will face harshness, cruelty, and fire throughout your life. it is a part of everybody’s life, the difference is that some have less darkness than others. and that is alright. what you have to do is simply remember how to fight back.
4. you will not be the same person tomorrow that you are today. you will change. and you need to be open to this change.
5. true love doesn’t always work. sometimes you will end up leaving the truest forms of love over self-consciousness. it is not your fault. it is the fault of the timing that didn’t let you meet them when time was right. it is the fault of the society that convinced you that you weren’t good enough for them.
6. you will make mistakes. you will throw diamonds away to pick up tiny stones. you will search for love in eyes that are far too empty. you will fall for someone who won’t turn out to be who you thought they were. it happens. it happens to all of us. the only thing that can be done is to repair the damage and avoid it in future.
7. love is weird. it’s beautiful and will give you chills and make you cry of happiness. but it will also hurt you and be messy at times. but if it’s love, it’ll be forever. if it’s love, the hurt will be worth it.
8. you’re not perfect. and nothing’s wrong with imperfection. your flaws define who you are and are proof that you’ve been here and lived.
9. in the end, all your problems WILL come to an end. everything WILL change. you’ve already dealt with the hurt and the pain. hence, you must NOT give up. get a reward for it.
10. there will be difficult days, days when you can’t take it anymore. but you must, and not for anyone else but for yourself. because if times are that bad, bad enough to harm yourself and cut and kill through your own skin, it really cannot get worse. whatever comes next will be better.
11. there will be times when your loved ones will leave you. you must not question your value. you must embrace the truth. forgive, forget, and move on. life goes on, with or without pain and loss.
12. when you look back at the memories of those who you loved and who hurt you, it will make you sad. it will cause pain. you must not go back to the toxicity, no matter how difficult it is to stay away.
13. always love with your entire heart and soul, but understand that love and self-respect are two different things and that self-respect is not worth losing, no matter what you might gain.
14. love truly. love with everything you have so that if things work out, you will be happy, and if they don’t, you will know it wasn’t because of you.
15. do not resent those who hurt you. accept their apology but do not allow them back into your life more than twice. because doing that is similar to reading the same book with a different cover again and again and expecting a different end.
16. respect and love are interdependent.
17. never judge someone. more often than not, people are not who they show they are. the cold-hearted girl in the classroom is emotional and loving. the cheerful girl is actually pretty sad. the stupid guy is a genius. never conclude what a person is like without knowing them inside out.
18. acceptance is the most important virtue of life—acceptance and carrying on. accept your mistakes, your talents, your body, your stupidity. accept yourself the way you are.
19. accepting yourself does not mean you shouldn’t change. change is always important and healthy if you know the difference between positive and negative.
20. when the person you love truly leaves you, you will be shattered. people will tell you that you’re going to be okay. what you must remember is that it is okay to not be okay. you’re allowed to be sad. you’re allowed to be disappointed. you’re allowed to be angry.
21. numbness is difficult, but like everything else, this too shall pass.
22. there will come a day when you will need to face your darkest fears and confront yourself. do not run away from this day. embrace it. it will help you find yourself.
23. on days you grow tired, stop, but don’t give up. take a pause. breathe. calm yourself down. remind yourself that you exist for a reason.
24. every time you feel like you do not have a reason, remember that everyone and everything is for a reason. it may not seem like it, but it is the truth. all the struggle may seem fruitless right now, but trust me, one day your seed will become the sweetest fruit to touch the air of earth.
25. study. grow. hydrate. fall in love with yourself so hard that you don’t need anyone else. be so complete that you have a fire inside you so powerful that you could burn entire cities.
26. change, but only for yourself.
27. it’s great to be there for the people you love, but be there for yourself too.
28. when you need help, reach out and ask for it. do not be afraid and do not be insecure. the world has good people too.
29. the world is a harsh place. you will fall down sometimes. surround yourself with those you can lean on when times get hard.
30. be satisfied. have the hunger for prosperity and to achieve your goals, the hunger of working for a bigger, better life. but in this hunger, do not grow ungrateful. be satisfied with what you have instead of crying about all the things you don’t have.