I have never pictured having my heart broken. Why would I? I always enjoyed being the heartbreaker. If someone wasn’t the one, I would simply end things swiftly and move on before the reality of leaving them sunk in.
“I am the sun and he can go suck it,” the Grey’s Anatomy quote would always come to mind when I was ready to leave someone who just wasn’t right for me. And with that thought, I always pushed the other stars trying to orbit in this universe and simply existed as the solo sun.
And yet when I had my heart broken, my universe did not seem to align me back into its center. Maybe we are so trapped in our own narcissistic world that when things don’t work out with others, we simply burn them with our rays and try to move on. I thought that was normal until I had my heart broken.
“I am the sun and he can go suck it,” but this time, the saying didn’t resonate with me. I am not the sun, rather I am a heartbroken woman who has never felt the pain of abandonment. I got burned by someone else and I was not equipped to deal with the ramifications of the blow. Are we really so self indulgent in love that it hurts us when someone can’t love us back?
The reality is that people don’t have to love us back. We shouldn’t expect everyone that we want will always fall in love with us. Imagine all the heartbroken men who said “I am the sun and she can go suck it” when I left. Talk about turning tables, I guess I am not the center of my universe after all.