It’s greener where you water it.
I look at my life as a garden full of sunflowers and weeds. Every thriving plant in my garden is a relationship I have nurtured in partnership with the other person. All relationships start off as seeds that have been planted by the universe in my garden of life. These seeds need to be watered with the essentials of any happy, healthy, and strong bond: trust, understanding, respect, compassion, love, and so forth.
The essential watering that the seeds receive does not come all at once. Though a seed will eventually sprout into a relationship with a few of the necessary essentials, it cannot flourish and survive without all of them. For any seed to become a flower, it always requires the efforts of two gardeners. One gardener putting in their effort and their share is not enough, both of them have to work together to nurture this growing plant. When that doesn’t happen, the plant withers and dies.
Sometimes it’s not because you didn’t do enough. Sometimes it’s not because you did too much. Sometimes it’s just because like plants, relationships have life spans and some are not meant to live in your garden anymore.
The sunflowers that stand tall and strong in my garden are a constant reminder that all relationships take two gardeners to keep them alive and thriving. These sunflowers show the efforts of two friends, two co-workers, two lovers, or two family members. The weeds in my life are relationships, platonic or romantic, that were either not properly taken care of or it was time for them to fade away.
I used to fight this. I’m one to hold on and want to fix things. I used to try so hard to glue together a cracked relationship. I used to deny that the leaves of some of my plants had lost their vibrancy and were turning shades of brown like the dying leaves in Autumn. I never wanted to see those plants die.
Now, I have come to a point in my life where I understand that plants die all the time. In their place, new seeds are planted, new flowers bloom, and new bonds are made. The ones that have come and gone were never meant to stay for too long. They graced my life with the splendid color of their petals and they brightened my grey days with the yellow from their glow. When their season ended, it was time for them to go. So I let them go.
Yet, my garden continues to thrive with the flowers that were always meant for me and the anticipation of freshly planted seeds gives me faith that this garden of mine will continue to grow.