I’ve heard people complain about being given up on. It felt so bad, that they now “tested” people to see if they held on. And I wondered, is it going too far?
How do we find an answer to that? How do we define that, at what distance, will we finally be assured of people when we have been hurt so bad, and so many times?
But I think that’s the wrong way to go about it. Our caution is testing someone’s patience with themselves, making someone question their little dedication…or maybe a whole lot of it, who knows.
We, unconsciously, might be belittling their choice of trust, belief, and faith. No one has it easy, no one has it perfect. So it’s only wise to not test someone, but to be cautious ourselves and not let anybody in until we are sure we are ready to trust again.
When someone has done a lot of holding on, hold on to them in return. Try believing in them and their choices. They actually believe in you, so basically you will never have to question your worth.
Be honest, tell them how hurt you are. Do not keep them in the dark while you wait for them to light the way. The flashlight, fortunately, is in your hands. Shine the light of your complete, naked truth on them if you really want them to stay.
Believe me, after that, if they had to hold on, they would. If they do not have that dedication, you will see it then and there. But if you are not sure whether or not you want them to hold on…do not test them anyway. Let them be, let yourself be.
Because, you know what? These people who usually hold on to you have been sidelined once or maybe more than once in their lives. No matter what happens, they will not want to see you in a place like that, because it hurts.
It hurts to be in the bleachers, it hurts to be the only one to have cared, it hurts when they choose to believe again and are questioned. Do justice to these people, not because you are morally obliged to, but because they will always choose to see the best of you and assure you the same, even after seeing the cracks and faults that come as a package deal.
Negativity has this notorious habit of hounding and overshadowing every little ray of positivity that chooses to shine in our lives; remember that and don’t allow it to happen.
Recognize, believe, love, keep. Such love, yes, love is rare….you won’t see much of it around for you to keep. Don’t take them for granted and keep looking for newer fields; that is close enough to taking someone for granted and I don’t think anyone ever wants to be branded that way.
Nobody said it was easy, nobody ever said it would be so hard.
Do go back to the start, it’s worth you and you’re worth it.