How Do You Let Go Of Something Perfect?

W. E. Jackson
W. E. Jackson

Due to a rarity in existent examples, not something inherently perfect, in and of itself, but the very thing that you needed or were seeking, either consciously or subconsciously, at a point in time that rendered any designation but “perfect” inadequate.

How do you step back from the edge of something so much bigger than yourself that time creeps by at a crawl as you try to catch up? Against your will and without much conscious acknowledgment each step you took led you here, to this vast abyss stretching further than you ever thought possible, to unseen horizons. Yet here you are staring at the thing itself, compelled by forces unknown to take one more step.

When you encounter energies so much more significant than yourself, you know immediately. There is something in you that feels it to the deepest core of your bones. In such times everything is sacred. Each breath, each step, each moment carries great weight. There is the overwhelming sense that something is happening. You don’t know what or when or how or why, but it’s happening. And in such times, it’s happening now. Undeniably, unavoidably, unapologetically, sometimes unconsciously, you are transformed. From your initial encounter with such a force, each step forward will be a step further from what or who you thought you were before.

Life-affirming occurrences are wherever you look for them. The growth of a blade of grass; the birth of a child; the thought of hurtling at insane speeds through space around a fireball, on a ball of mud; let ye search for your own affirmation. There are times, however, when these occurrences are on a scale of such magnitude as to render any descriptive qualities one could henceforth write useless. For the duration of your trip, you may experience a reorganization of your priorities, self-realizations, deep reflection, loss of meaning in previously “essential” things or matters, and overwhelming calm and clarity.

These things tend to last for only short periods of time due to various circumstances. Upon being reintroduced to your familiar reality you feel the absence of what was there. You took away so much, you have grown infinitely, you see the way, but it’s almost too unbelievable to have been anything but a dream; a non-reality at best. It’s something so close it fogs your senses, yet utterly out of reach. There are vivid flashes of the grace of it for which you constantly long.

We are afraid of seeking our perfection because we do not believe it exists. A practical life do we live. We are afraid that we are not the exception; that rarely do people break into that ethereal realm in common stroke with the flow of the river of life. Yet, if only we take the time to slow down, to flirt with stillness, are we able to see the flow all around us. Always hinting, always revealing, and always affirming: infinite.

To take such a thing and to follow an unfamiliar trajectory into a strange and foreign place is a choice, one made with difficulty and sacrifice. Conversely, the beauty at the other end is blinding. The possibilities endless, the outcomes clouded in the mists of terra incognita, the ride is powerful. Because inside, deeper than you’re willing to go, there is a place that knows. It is a place that knows what you are after, a place with which a too-close confrontation arouses fear. You are afraid of yourself; of your power; of your potential; of your dreams. A wise man is quoted, “what you seek is seeking you.” A single moment of living in step is worth the trip.

So how do you let go of something perfect? How do you come back from the edge?

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