Timing is a bitch.
Yes, I met the right girl, for the first time in my life. Yes, she finished my thoughts and made me realize I had emotions that I thought weren’t real.
Yes, we had a connection that was mutual and we had a first date that was downright magical. Yes, we kissed, and laughed as we talked sitting by the pier until the sun came knocking.
But here’s the thing. She quit her job and moved halfway across the world to try and get her ex-bf back – a month ago. So this just wasn’t the right time for her. She loves him, to a point where she dropped everything she knew and held dear to get him back. Yes it’s not going perfect but at least she’s trying, and staying true to it. I admire that in a way, something that I wouldn’t have understood before I met her.
Timing is a bitch isn’t it. But bad timing also makes you understand things you otherwise would not, it’s a lesson really. I learned that the woman I’ve dreamed up on mental sketch boards was real, in flesh and bones. She made me understand that when you feel this…love, the universe is really asking you whether or not you are willing to sacrifice all your conditioned habits and physio-emotional needs for another person.
She made me understand that the hole I’ve had as far back as I can remember can be filled. That this empty void filled with dopamine fueled stimulus over the last decade is okay, and that there is someone who just completes me, even if it won’t be her.
I learned that when you get these emotions, you’re afraid and vulnerable. But that is the beauty of it, because I’ve never felt more alive and hopeful. I’m a 26 year old, swashbuckling, narcissistic playboy – but I was willing to put it all aside for someone who made me feel what it was like to see love. I didn’t feel love, it was one date after all. But I could see it.
And as an evolutionary product of visual cravings, seeing love made me have the desire that one day I can experience it. So when we say the timing was bad, what we are really saying is “I didn’t get what I wanted.” But if we can drop our ego, and take a step back to look at the dystopic future, we will hopefully understand that bad timing is arguably the only thing that makes you change towards something that most people call good timing.