The New York Times recently ran yet another trend piece on those damn hipsters, this time covering the apparently-actually-a-thing “hipsters invading suburbia.” The piece is called “Creating Hipsturbia,” a title that made me think of Rihanna’s “Disturbia” and a nonexistent Todd Solondz movie about deeply alienated, meth-smoking suburban hipsters who go around terrorizing the locals.
Anyway, I noticed a consistent tactic in the Times piece, which was to use lots of buzzwords to describe this possibly imaginary hipster suburbia while letting the reader know, with a wink, that these effing hipsters are so effing insufferable, look at what they wear/eat/do.
I have compiled below my favorite buzzword phrases for your enjoyment. Here’s looking at you, writer of yet another New York Times hipster trend piece, Alex Williams.
1. lunch-hour vinyasa classes
2. Dutch-style bikes
3. farm-to-table restaurant
4. edible nasturtiums [Editor’s note: I have no idea what a nasturtium is, edible or otherwise.]
5. monofloral honey produced by nomadic beekeepers in Sicily
6. gluten-free red-velvet cupcakes
7. windows decorated with bird silhouettes
8. heritage-clad novelist type
9. ironic mutton chops
10. shade-grown coffee
12. statement sneakers
14. twee lifestyle
15. bearded mixologists
16. locavore restaurants
17. antler-laden boutiques
18. artisanal vegan soap
19. wheat-paste sloganeering
21. Galapagos Art Space mind-set
22. felted-wool gazelle heads
23. sustainable fish
24. barrel-aged cocktails
25. D.I.Y. hobbies
This article also includes the following quote, from Ari Wallach, a “futurism consultant”: “Hastings-on-Hudson is a village, in a Wittgensteinian sort of way.” Nice.