Latest Posts

Notes On The Three Times I’ve Been Hit By A Car

The funny thing about being hit by a car is that the immediate bits of time preceding the accident seem extremely slow, while the actual contact seems too fast to even process; you’re left lying on the sidewalk with a fuzzy, sequential disconnect of how you actually ended up there.

Happiness And Surprise Boobs

I was drinking beer on a rooftop one night with a couple friends, when we simultaneously and unassumingly caught a flashing glimpse of some girl’s boobs through an open window. Because I like boobs and this was the fulfillment of something I desperately wanted to happen when I was 12, I got a huge kick out of it. All things considered, it felt like a very pure form of happiness.

A Soundtrack For The 18-24 Age Bracket

I become aware that I’m approaching the end of the U.S. Census’ 18-24 age bracket. This is a milestone worthy of deep reflection, but I can only vividly remember the past 5 ½ years through certain songs I listened to during the bracket’s peaks and valleys, which I guess makes sense.

Moving From Boston To New York On The Chinatown Bus

Due to an extreme lack of foresight, the Chinatown bus was the method I chose to move from Boston to New York. Renting a truck is expensive, and the employees on the Chinatown buses don’t seem to care what you do as long as the trip doesn’t exceed four hours…

Rejected Swiffer Wet Wipes Commercial: Versions I and II

We begin with the camera panning across an impeccably clean, spacious, and modern kitchen. Morning sunlight shines in through the windows, illuminating the room with a warm glow. Behind the counter, we see Nia Vardalos (what has she been in lately?), wearing a pearl necklace, probably a muted Ann Taylor™ blouse, and designer jeans…