No not the bright green gel kind that comes in a plastic bottle, more commonly known to ease the pain of getting schooled by the sun. I’m talking about the kind that grows in the dirt! And the kind apparently sold at the grocery store? It’s the real deal and your clean-eating friend will totally lose it if you gift her with a giant helping. But just a heads up — you may be slightly alarmed at what she chooses to do with it (i.e. chop it up into threatening/unappetizing chunks, blend it into her morning smoothie, rub it all over her face, neck, entire body?), but that’s fine. This isn’t about you, this is about her and the maintenance of her overall “wellness.” And sure, aloe vera looks totally awkward stuffed into a stocking, but how many gifts are truly thoughtful, affordable AND organic?! Not enough.
Black stretch pants
You and your friend both know that she hasn’t worn actual pants since like 2004, so getting her another pair of her signature yoga/fitness/it-looks-like-I-worked-out-earlier-but-really-I’m-just-running-errands-all-day pants will surely be the most functional gift she receives this year.
Tea tree oil
This stuff is potent and pricey and chances are your friend is already using it! Not only is it super versatile, it’s a staple to any health conscious person’s set of household homeopathic supplies. So even if your friend already has a bottle she’s working through, she will absolutely appreciate a refill on her favorite essential oil. And based on how much she uses it in her toothpaste, on her yoga mat, in her hair, and other miscellaneous places, she will most likely need a refill on her cherished stash by new years.
These come in several shapes, sizes and brands, but whichever you choose to purchase, just know that by giving this gift, you are setting the bar extremely high for years to come. You should only choose this option if you a) truly want to get your friend something exceptionally nice this year or b) hate money. Also, all juicers are loud, messy and expensive, but there’s like a 98% chance your friend will cry if you gift her this healthy person’s wet dream of a kitchen accessory. And who doesn’t love a good cry during the holidays? Not this girl! Your health conscious friend loves to/is good at/okay with expressing her emotions anyways, so get ready for one giant love fest with a side of green juice!
Any book by Malcom Gladwell
A true self-respecting health nut likes to keep their brain just as healthy, if not more so, than their body. It’s what’s inside that counts, right? If you feel like providing your friend with some food for thought, I recommend gifting her a book by Malcolm Gladwell. Perhaps Outliers or The Tipping Point? He provides enough thought-provoking material to keep even the busiest of bodies sitting still for hours on end! But if your friend just can’t handle the idea of not moving, then feel free to pick out an ebook version on her behalf. That way she can read on the treadmill or the recumbent bike or whatever. She’ll probably want to rehash the book(s) you give her and she might even start to label you based on what she’s read, so consider this your warning. Like if one day she randomly lets you know that you’re a total “maven,” don’t worry—there’s a compliment buried underneath all of that Gladwell jargon. Promise.
No health-obsessed friend is truly complete without her go-to bizarro snack. And nothing says bizarre like a goji berry! Have you ever seen one? They look like the skinnier, more awkward cousin to the raisin and though the average joe most likely has no clue that these exotic “fruits” are even edible, your friend is quite familiar with them and probably grazes on them on the daily. So maybe the next time you’re shopping at a healthy grocery store with one of those “buy in bulk” sections, you can make her a customized trail mix just bursting with goji berries, a few Brazil nuts and perhaps a few mulberries for good measure. You can even get way crazy/eco-friendly and package her mix in a mason jar that she can then throw into her messenger/gym bag and reuse over and over again.
Garcinia Cambogia Extract Kombucha
Heard of it? This drink is all the rage these days. It’s basically a health-obsessed person’s ideal beverage because it’s fermented, it’s detoxifying, AND it’s low-cal. Did I mention it contains alcohol? Your friend will feel fancy drinking this overpriced joy in a bottle around town and she’ll have you to thank for it. Cheers to that.
Who would have thought something as simple and pure as yoga would involve so many bells and whistles? Well if you are willing to set the irony of “yoga accessories” aside for two seconds, you’ll realize that some of them would actually make the perfect gift for your self-proclaimed “yogi” friend. Throwing a yoga block under the tree and tossing a yoga strap into her stocking will not only do wonders for her yoga practice, it will also totally help her realign her chakras and we all know that’s just priceless. I bet if you surprise her with one of those luxurious yet unnecessary savasana eye pillows, she will light up like a Christmas tree and then thank you by whipping up a delicious (disgusting?) romaine/kale/ginger concoction with her new juicer. How fun!