1. Your high school’s campus also served as the setting for a reality show.
2. Your mom (and/or dad) has had “work done.” (Maybe just a simple eye lift or quick tummy tuck, but chances are something has been “done.”)
3. You invite your friend from out of town to go shopping at Fashion Island and then have to explain to her that you guys are not, in fact, going to sail to an actual island of fashion.
4. You never refer to Orange County as “The OC,” nor do you call PCH “The PCH.” (These alternate terms are reserved for tourists and/or people who watch too much reality television.)
5. You recognize the jeans the guy sitting next to you in the Edwards movie theater is wearing because you have the exact same pair. (And that’s because they are women’s jeans. Jeans for WOMEN.)
6. You’re unsure of where “north Orange County” begins and ends, and you sure as hell don’t want to find out.
7.Your family took their Christmas card photo on the beach, while wearing coordinating white tops and medium-dark-wash jeans. (You guys alternate between white and black coordinating tops each year to keep the neighbors on their toes).
8. You had at least one high school crush with bleach blonde hair and/or who was on the surf team.
9. You get spray tans during the “winter” months.
10. Your family shops at Gelson’s because their sliced turkey tastes way better and also because they can.
11. Your idea of roughin’ it is going “camping” on Catalina island.
12. Your high school had a gang. (And by gang, you mean a bunch of well-dressed wealthy kids who drove BMWs to school and took somas in front of your AP US History teacher at senior picnic day.)
13. Your last family vacation was to Maui because you guys wanted to mix things up from your last two vacations, Kauai and the Big Island.
14. Your best friend’s parents bought her a brand new Mercedes-Benz before she even passed her driver’s test.
15. Your cleaning lady has an iPhone.
16. You know what cotillion is/ your parents made you attend during your formative and most awkward years (and you have the white gloves to prove it).
17. Your mom drives a Prius and your dad drives an Escalade XL.
18. Your family likes to go to the beach on Christmas Day because it’s rarely not 75 degrees outside.
19. You’re studying to be a massage therapist.
20. You still see Bush/Cheney stickers on cars around town like they’re relevant.
21. You used to get dollars instead of candy when you went trick-or-treating as a kid.
22. You remember when the “Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim” were just the “Anaheim Angels” and life made a lot more sense.
23. You’re not even that alarmed when the 40-something mom sporting a bright pink Juicy Couture velour jumpsuit and giant fake boobs orders her venti skinny vanilla latte while texting on her Swarovski crystal-covered phone and then proceeds to let her three daughters run wild in Starbucks, destroying the holiday mug display as they repeatedly slam their little bodies into your lower leg/thigh region.
24. Your friend’s dog wears a collar that is worth more than all of your college tuition.
25. You can count your Jewish friends on one hand.
26. Your family keeps the phone numbers to the orthodontist, the plastic surgeon, and the cleaning lady on the fridge, for easy access.
27. Your friend’s dad has Ryan Seacrest highlights and he’s pushing 50.
28. You’ve babysat for a family who dresses their kids in baby True Religions and/or owns a stroller for their dog.
29. Your five year old little sister has hair extensions.