You’re Sending Out Fancy Invitations, I’m Pinning Things To An Imaginary Board

You’re registering at Williams-Sonoma, I’m loitering at Anthropologie.

You’re excited to settle down with your husband-to-be, I can barely commit to a Facebook profile picture.

You’re polishing your new ring, I’m counting that last rain storm as a car wash.

You two just saw Dudamel at the Bowl, I just YouTubed Bieber’s newest video featuring Big Sean.

You’re sending out fancy invitations, I’m pinning things to an imaginary board.

You’re hanging with the soon-to-be in-laws, I’m making small talk with a homeless man in Westwood.

You just hired a landscaper, I just went to Yogurtland.

You’re picking out your white dress, I’m wearing a shirt from 10th grade (hey now, it still kinda fits).

You’re grocery shopping for two, I’m eating trail mix for dinner.

You’re writing thank you notes on monogrammed stationery, I’m instagramming my latte.

You’re making seasonal soups with your new immersion blender, I just microwaved my dinner in record time.

You’re thinking about getting a puppy, I managed to murder my succulent.

You guys just bought a Biscayne Ottoman at Restoration Hardware, I just found two quarters and a dime in my craigslist couch.

You’re planning your honeymoon, I’m considering my night out in Silver Lake a staycation.

You’re in bed by nine, I’m watching old episodes of Felicity on my MacBook until two a.m.

You’re choosing fabric for your wedding day bunting, I just had to Google what that even is.

You two are going cake tasting, I just choked on a tofu sample in the middle of the Whole Foods salad bar (a stranger heimliched me, don’t worry about it). TC mark

image – Pinterest


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  • annie

    this is the hysterical. spot on.

  • Dasha

    Ha! It’s like you’re in my mind. Nice to know I’m not the only fundamentally incapable sad case out there. Thanks :)

  • kim

    Don’t worry. It’s all an illusion of fakeness.

  • Bethanie the Wookie

    Loved it.

  • jacqueline

    i love this! i actually chuckled aloud in my office.
    i’m in a relationship, but basically functioning the same, just with someone else. ex: you’re handcrafting Martha Stewart center pieces, we’re handcrafting the missing screw from our IKEA furniture.

    • Mel

      i’m the same. My bf and I just recently hammered in a screw to put up my $10 curtains from ikea. our arms were tired from manually screwing in the screw as we don’t have an electronic one. sigh. I then received an ornate invitation in the mail the next from a married friend just for a BARBECUE!

      • Dasha

        Just laughed out loud at the “hammering a screw in”. Brilliant!

      • jacqueline

        i wish i had money for ornate invitations! you know, like for something for my graduation announcements last year..that would’ve been nice instead of sending them out on (at least it’s a free way to solicit family for money? i think it really points to exactly how broke you are…)

  • Elizabeth (@dietblonde)

    Right on. This is exactly what’s going on in my life. It’s good to know that there are other people loitering Anthropologie to fill their days

  • ChangeTheWorld

    I love this! It just goes to show you how very different the different stages of life actually are.

  • Emily

    I was literally watching old episode of Felicity on my macbook until 2 am last night. Creepy.

  • Molly

    i live and breathe for felicity, yogurtland, and trailmix ahhhhh

  • Miss Navarro (@LeelaChrista)

    I’m not the only one who watches Felicity on my Mac Book till 2am… phew. I feel better now, thank you :)

  • bottledworder


  • KRose

    Loved this. I’m currently in that weird phase where I’m transitioning from the “I’m” to the “You’re” on this list. Its literally stress. All.the.time.

  • Katka Lapelosová

    I grocery shop for two, use my immersion blender to make seasonal soups kill plants and talk to homeless people. Am I the ultimate douchebag?

    This article was cool.

  • iceman

    There are just some days when you have that feeling that you wanna high five people, with a chair, to the face. And this article exactly states how I think when I feel like that.

  • mebeki

    This is amazing:)

  • Miss Dannon (@MissDannon)

    The you’re sounds like an insufferable consumerist robot and I don’t see why everyone should have to become this way just because they have good credit and a steady boyfriend. Be proud of your Craigslist couch, and keep it even after you can afford a new one.

    • diana salier (@dianasalier)

      AMEN. the “you’re” sounds boring as fuck.

  • kim windyka (@kimlw)

    love it! and i’m pretty sure i am actually wearing a shirt from 10th grade right now.

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    […] You’re Sending Out Fancy Invitations, I’m Pinning Things to an Imaginary Board […]

  • charlleyb

    Reblogged this on LESSONS of SUMMER.

  • Helen Polsedon

    I’m “instagramming my latte”. Hmm! The advancement of technology. That takes the bsicuit! Lol!

  • laceandlacquer

    Reblogged this on lace & lacquer and commented:
    The age of 23… half of our Facebook feeds are people getting engaged or pictures of babies… and then there’s us.

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  • Lena

    “a stranger heimliched me, don’t worry about it.” Loved this! I think frozen yogurt should be taken off of this list though. There is nothing wrong with Yogurtland… ever!

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