I will learn to breathe without you.
A few weeks ago, we were still the couple who couldn’t really get away from each other. But a few weeks later, you left me and you broke away in search of who you are and what you really want.
I can still feel your presence around me, brushing my hair, staring right into my eyes, resting your hands on my hips. These may seem to be just ordinary gestures that any boyfriend would have done to their girlfriend, but to me, these small little gestures felt like oxygen. These things filled me up with life, helped me get through the bad days and the good.
I never really thought that I would have to live without you, without us. Even until this day, I never really quite understood how you could leave everything behind within a split second.
As much as I would love to move on just like you did, I doubt I will really move away from the memory of us.
Perhaps my love was too overwhelming, perhaps it would be too much to handle knowing that someone loves you as if you are all they have and all they ever wanted.
Perhaps I should have kept a part of my love from you so that you wouldn’t feel trapped within it like a bird in a cage. All these ‘perhaps’ thoughts are destroying me. Perhaps I could have been a better girlfriend, perhaps I could try to forget you, perhaps not.
I could have blamed you, blamed myself, blamed our differences and our mentalities, but all of this doesn’t really matter.
I loved you, to a point I no longer feel any negative emotions revolving around you, and I no longer feel any negative emotions towards you. Perhaps that’s what air is to us, it’s not pure oxygen, it consists of many other particles and elements, but we still need it to survive and we inhale because we have to. Just like love, toxic relationships, hate, and differences come as a package when you learn to love and to love deeply.
Perhaps that’s what love is: you love and you love to the point where none of that other stuff matters, and all you are left with are just fragments of good memories between two strangers.
I will learn to breathe without you; I know I will, someday.