Since when did there become a “rule” about how much is too much when you first start dating someone or begin talking to someone? By too much I mean too much texting, sending snapchats, calling, etc.
How do you measure what is cute and flirty and borderline crazy?
I have dated men who have texted nonstop. It is like there really are no limits, rules, or expectations. It flows and is easy.
I have also dated men who like to wait a day or two before responding and aren’t very responsive period. Here are my thoughts…
If you want to text someone, text them! Period. The end. If something makes you think of them, just send it. Even if you were the last person to text and are waiting for a response. Who cares! Especially if it is thoughtful, send it!
The way I see it is, if someone doesn’t like the amount that you text or try to communicate upfront, they probably aren’t for you. Because chances are, if you get into an actual relationship, that messaging isn’t slowing down.
Secondly, if it really is bothering someone how much you message them, think about the reasons why? You are probably a number to them in their massive texting and dating list and you are so much better than being a number to someone.
You deserve someone who gets EXCITED to see your name pop up on their phone and not annoyed!
Yes, I get the element of being flirty and “the chase” but games are just fucked up and who has time for them? If you genuinely like someone, go for it! If they don’t respond crystal clear then move on until you find someone who doesn’t mind you sending pictures of puppies at 11pm at night.
If someone doesn’t respond within a decent amount of time, move on! Like yesterday!
Yes, I understand we are ALL busy!
Yes, I understand we ALL have different texting, social media, and calling on the phone styles.
Yes, I get our lives don’t revolve around the person we just met or have gone out with a few times.
Yes, I know we shouldn’t expect a partner, and especially not someone we are newly dating, to be at our beck and call — but truly how hard is it to acknowledge something on your phone these days?
You can double tap and send a thumbs up or haha. You can send one emoji! You can say, love this… thank you for sending… really busy today… will text more later! Simple and easy, but thoughtful!
If someone won’t send you a message back, it is your job to move on.
How much is too much? Well, I also agree there really could be “too much” for you and in which case, we need to be more upfront and not keep people hanging just so you have a booty call on hand or someone to give you some attention when needed. Tell the person who is texting too much you aren’t interested and it is best to move on. Easy peasy!
If you meet someone who is truly available, and if you really hit it off, all “rules” are out the window. Just be you. From the beginning. And if that is sending funny memes or just saying hi, do it!
If someone doesn’t like who you are at the beginning, they will never like you once months and years pass by. Believe me, one day someone will get just as excited as you about texting, calling, and tagging.
Wait for that person and don’t question your gut. Own who you are and one day you will attract the type of person who will love all the quirky pieces of you.
You will never be “too much” of anything for the right person.