You will meet me at a bar unexpectedly on a Friday night, and I will feed you a mouthful of reasons as to why we are not compatible. You will have sugar brown eyes and will bluntly call me out on my bullshit. You will have broad shoulders and kind hands that reassure me in ways others couldn’t. You will tell me that someday you will reinvent this smile of mine, and I will shyly let you touch the web of debris left behind by boys who taste sad.
I will wholeheartedly fall for you too quickly and will commit every felony that I promised my mother I wouldn’t. I will let broken melodies spill out of my lips, and you will catch them with your humble hands and fold them neatly into new promises. I will crack open my skin and bleed you a memoir of leftover stories from my unhealthy habits. I will also choke out heartaches from dots on a map and let them ricochet inside your bones. You will ask for my honesty, and I will give you a number that leaves your chest feeling heavy and hollow.
You will talk about Boston with sparks in your eyes, and you will tell me that home is where the sunlight hits across the winter ice. You will tell me tales about ice hockey and kiss me with stories that taste like new beginnings. I will let your hips pull tides to my bones, and let your tongue burn new scars onto my skin. I will let your lips build me new islands, and I will let you in the silent spaces that have seen too many shades of blue. I will whisper your name a thousand times when I am alone, because each syllable washes over my lips like new hope.
Amongst everything, I want to tell you that I care about the depth of what we have over the distance that blankly stares at us. For years, I had sworn off falling for boys who can only be reached by trains and planes. I have seen my share of time zones and currencies, and I understand how difficult it is to piece together two brittle lives when you are relentlessly fighting for your own. I will be the first to admit that I don’t know how to connect continents through telephone wires, and that I don’t know how to rearrange cities with my voice. I don’t know how to kiss your heartstrings goodnight or make love to your senses when you are 8,000 miles away.
But if you could just hear my final plead: I would rather attempt the unthinkable than lose the fight to oceans and tectonic plates.
I want to build you an empire with every atom within me, until I have nothing but my mind to offer you. If I could, I would make sure that each morning you would be able to reach out your hand and touch the soft warmth of my skin. I would kiss away the sadness in your eyes each night and write you better tomorrows when you need them. I would be your semblance of peace on sleepless nights, and remind you of your greatest kindness when the world seems to have misplaced all of its trust.
Because darling, if you would just take the chance and stay with me, we could be more than extraordinary.
I’m all in.