1. He is unafraid to tell it like it is — even when the truth stings and everyone else around you avoids it. While most of your friends are too scared to let you know that your new shade of maroon lipstick makes you look like a petite Asian grandmother, he’ll encourage you to whip out your Depends…in the most loving of ways.
2. Hanging out with him is consistently stimulating because he spits snark like there’s no tomorrow, and you can’t help but laugh when you’re around him. “Sweetheart,” he’ll say when you check yourself out in your iPhone camera for the fourth time in an hour. “Stop looking at yourself…it’s not going to make you any prettier.”
3. What most of your romantic interests don’t realize is that if they break your heart, he will break their faces…just kidding, but he will immediately come over with a package of Peanut Butter Oreos, unending hugs, and a handle so strong it could knock Rocky off his feet. And, from that moment on, whenever he happens to run into that romantic interest, he will hop on his Passive-Aggressive Death Glare game.
4. After a long, trying week, there is no one you’d rather cuddle up with to eat a gallon of ice cream and watch reruns of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. And he doesn’t even judge you for liking the annoying Housewife.
5. You might have spooned with quite a few boys in your day, but he is, hands down, the most skillful Big Spoon in the entire world. And, unlike most of the boys you spoon with, he does not smell like Axe and stale muscle milk. He smells like the woods, fireplaces, and the mountains…like a #Real Man.
6. Out of all your friends, he is the most eager to be your workout buddy — devising plans to get in shape for summer together (read: browse Lululemon sales and research juice detoxes before getting hungry and ordering Indian food with you).
7. Whenever you develop a crush on someone new, you run your burgeoning feelings by him because you know that his judgment is ten times better than yours. He is able to take one glance at someone’s Facebook profile photo before declaring “husband material” or “what a uggo.” You don’t know what your love life would be without him.
8. Speaking of your love life…even if he is totally busy, he is always willing to help you overanalyze crucial texts, Facebook messages, or Snapchats from potential suitors. Without his extensive knowledge of the male gender, you would have no idea how to properly flirt via social media.
9. He is the only person you trust to effectively hold your hair back and take care of you when you’re facedown in the toilet, emptying the contents of your stomach after you drank too many…pouches of Tropical Capri-Sun. He is also the only person you trust not to take Snapchats of you afterwards, when you’re curled up on your bathroom floor, nauseous from too much fruity goodness. He respects you, even when you’re in such a vulnerable state.
10. His hair, skin, and outfits are always so flawless that you become more inspired to take better care of yourself each time you hang out with him. Really, being his friend makes you an all-around better person. He even got you to try kale for the first time.