The third season of Girls will premiere on HBO in roughly two weeks. With it will come more 28-minute insights into each of the characters’ lovable (?) neuroses. Hannah’s Me, Me, Me Syndrome. Marnie’s compulsive need to color within the lines (most of the time). Jessa’s daddy issues. And Shoshanna’s sweet, doe-eyed naivety.
For those of you who can’t wait to end the dry spell with new episodes, here’s a quiz to tide you over during the interim.
Which Girls Character Are You Most Like?
Tally up the points from each answer and check your score at the end.
1. Your idea of a perfect Thursday night out involves:
A. Going to an art gallery opening in Chelsea for a new British artist no one has heard of who is supposed to be “the next big thing,” according to the hip, industry magazines you read on your lunch break. (TWO POINTS)
B. It doesn’t really matter what you do or where you go because there is a 88.8% chance you will end the night in bed with your shoes still on and a plate of leftover Pad Thai next to your head. (ONE POINT)
C. Attending a charity gala where you get to sip champagne from frosted flutes and wear a tulle dress that is only slightly more provocative than the dresses you wore as a little girl — because you now have cleavage. (FOUR POINTS)
D. Sitting on the lap of a guy named Steve at an exclusive Meatpacking party to honor the release of his new reggae album. Steve’s mom breastfed him until he was four, and he aspires to become the next Snoop Lion, but these are just facts that make him more interesting. (THREE POINTS)
2. Your drink of choice is most likely a:
A. Whiskey sour, straight and with extra bourbon. (THREE POINTS)
B. PBR and if anyone were to offer you a Heineken (or some other inferior beer), you’d giggle and repeat the following (genius, in your opinion) line from Blue Velvet: “Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!” (ONE POINT)
C. Cosmopolitan or a Shirley Temple with a smidge of vodka, depending on how naughty you’re feeling. (FOUR POINTS)
D. Pomegranate martini, thank you very much. (TWO POINTS)
3. On a given Sunday evening, you are most likely watching:
A. Several episodes in a row of shows like The Mindy Project or New Girl because you really relate to and empathize with the Millennial Female Struggle. (ONE POINT)
B. PBS documentary on some child viola prodigy that you barely pay attention to as you finish up an assignment for work and wonder how you can finagle your boyfriend into tossing out his favorite cable-knit sweater — which you hate. (TWO POINTS)
C. A VH1 special on celebrities who have fallen from grace — such as Courtney Love, Amanda Bynes, Lindsey Lohan, and the Olson Twins (during their rough periods). They really put the “glam” in “cry for help” and sometimes, you can’t help but feel a connection with them. (THREE POINTS)
D. Reruns of the last season of The Bachelorette. (FOUR POINTS)
4. In 2013, your favorite buzzword was:
A Selfie. (THREE POINTS)
B. Millennial. (ONE POINT)
C. #PrincessProblems (FOUR POINTS)
D. Basic. (TWO POINTS)
5. Be honest, you are most likely to marry out of (that is, if marriage is up your alley):
A. Somewhat cynical desperation as your parents — who married shortly after your father purchased his first stock in Microsoft —keep dropping hints about how you are nearing the prime of your life. (TWO POINTS)
B. True love, a concept that you are confident still exists despite what your friends tell you. (FOUR POINTS)
C. Self-validation because you imagine that marriage will involve someone fawning over you 24/7 — or just when you need it the most. (ONE POINT)
D. Money — that is if you ever find someone with enough gall to tie you down. (THREE POINTS)
6. Growing up during the Sex and the City era, you identified the most with:
A. Samantha (THREE POINTS)
B. Carrie (ONE POINT)
C. Miranda (TWO POINTS)
D. Charlotte (FOUR POINTS)
7. Of all the underwear you own, your favorites would be:
A. Sensible, nude Spanx. (TWO POINTS)
B. A fire-engine red G-string with lace trim, naturally. (THREE POINTS)
C. Pink and blue hipsters with a Hello Kitty pattern. (FOUR POINTS)
D. Black bikini briefs with the phrase “Enjoy the View” bedazzled onto the crotch. (ONE POINT)
8. The last partner who broke your heart complained that you were too:
A. Needy, but you have no idea what they were talking about. (ONE POINT)
B. Emotionally unavailable — except it isn’t your fault that they were so clingy. (TWO POINTS)
C. Nobody breaks your heart because you always break his or hers first. (THREE POINTS)
D. You’ve never dated anyone long or intensely enough to experience a rough breakup — except for that one guy who practically squatted in your apartment until you dumped him. But he, like everyone else in your life, doesn’t even have the heart to be mean to you. (FOUR POINTS)
If you scored between 0-8, you are a Hannah.
If you scored between 8-16, you are a Marnie.
If you scored between 16-24, you are a Jessa.
If you scored between 24-32, you are a Shoshanna.