Haikus For The Modern Internet Persona

1

What did I just watch?
What a complete waste of time.
Might as well comment.

2

I like your tweet but
I hate you and the battle
wages quietly.

3

Even a ninety-
eight percent match stood me up
is nothing sacred?

4

Officially freaked
been minutes since I emailed
and still no response.

5

You look nothing like
your profile pictures do.
Tell me how you sleep?

6

Accidentally
liked your Tumblr post; must quit
the hate following

7

You know what they say,
an internet comment is
rage leaving the soul

8

According to Klout
I’m influential in ‘Cats’
just like everyone

9

Unfollowing your
ex is the first step on the
road to happiness

10

This photo of him
is flattering sure, but I’m
convinced it’s a ‘shop

11

I can’t follow her.
Her feed’s a mess, I can’t watch.
Wait, she did what now? TC mark

image – Shutterstock

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://postcardsandpaperplanes.blogspot.com/ KSB

    completely accurate

  • Michael Koh

    fantastic!

  • http://crookedprose.wordpress.com/ Ashley

    Absolutely brilliant.

  • http://gabydunnthoughtcatalog.wordpress.com Gaby Dunn

    One more for Wife Material: Stephanie Georgopulos.

  • http://onlyfragments.com onlyfragments

    Love love love.

  • http://twitter.com/AliPants Nosilla Remarc (@AliPants)

    brilliant

  • MAJA

    This article I just read
    great but too short
    please add more :)))

  • http://themetaphoriclife.wordpress.com filofthefuture

    Excellent.

  • http://twitter.com/tr_sk_ys tres keys (@tr_sk_ys)

    Is this perfect or is this perfect?

  • sam

    awesome.

  • Monica MKC

    LOL! Wish there was more…

  • http://lookingeloquent.com/2012/07/27/week-in-review-july-27/ Week in Review | Looking Eloquent

    […] Catalog continued last week’s haiku trend, this time focusing on the modern internet persona. Also from TC is a thought-provoking essay from regular contributor Oliver Miller, simply titled […]

  • http://pressible.org/anhaysne/creating-the-ultimate-online-persona Creating the Ultimate Online Persona?

    […] leave you with this Haiku for the Modern Internet Persona by Stephanie Georgopulos: You look nothing like your profile pictures do. Tell me how you […]

  • http://adventuresahoy.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/haiku/ Haiku | adventuresahoy

    […] & [2] from here, [3] & [4] from here, [5] from me (embarrassing, I know, but I felt like I should give it a […]

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