5 Formerly Popular Things I Guess I'm Not Supposed To Like Anymore?

1. Dave Matthews Band. We loved DMB so much, we gave them an acronym. That’s not a fleeting sort of love, kids. So what happened? It was just a decade ago that a DMB tour t-shirt was a badge of honor, that we gushed over the infamous rained-out Giants Stadium show (June 13th, 2001. Were you there? You were definitely there. Even if you lived in Japan. Even if you weren’t born yet. Everyone was there — if not physically, then by osmosis.) But now? “Two Step” shuffles onto your iPod during a party and everyone looks at you like you’re karaoking the Mein Kampf audiobook. I know it’s totally uncool to listen to jam bands past your 17th birthday or once the lease on your Jeep Wrangler expires — whichever comes first — but “Crush” is still a really sexy song. And how can you deny that the intro to “Ants Marching” makes your day a smidgen brighter every time you hear it? I’m glad we’ve moved past patchouli and patch pants, but can we lay off ensemble bands who pretty much reinvented feeling things and saxophones? Thanks.

2. Uggs. Every winter since their public fall from grace, I’ve grappled with my personal desire to wear Uggs in a decidedly anti-Ugg societal climate. Look, guys — I know they’re ugly. I acknowledge that. But looks aren’t everything! Haven’t y’all had a shame crush before? Don’t you know what’s on the outside isn’t as important as what’s on the inside? And what’s on the inside is warm, sexually-arousing fleece? I just want to feel like my feet are making love to a freshly pressed burrito without being shamed for it. This is America, after all.

3. Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl is as dead as The OC post-Marissa Cooper, and I blame The Bachelor. Ever since this season of the goddamn Bachelor started up, Gossip Girl’s viewership completely jumped ship and left me to play the role of Last Woman Standing Sitting on the Couch Salivating Over Ed Westwick. Even Gossip Girl doesn’t show up for its own time slot anymore: it airs for five consecutive weeks and then disappears for two months. It’s like a pre-menopausal period, and you know what that means. It means the end is near. So now that The Bachelor has wrapped, can you guys come back to the CW? Gossip Girl is like Tinker Bell — if we don’t tune in, it’ll die forever. Don’t allow Ben Flajnik to ruin another young woman’s life.

4. Billy Joel. Billy Joel is one of those things that’s acceptable — cool, even — in college, but loses its cache once you’re out in the real world. Like theme parties. Or binge drinking. Don’t ask me why. People don’t outwardly hate on BJ, but no one wants to listen to Glass Houses at a party. Except for me.

5. Signing an e-mail with “Cheers.” “Cheers” was popular when I was a Recent College Grad, but apparently now it’s a douchey send-off and I’m not supposed to use it anymore? Admittedly, only one person told me I should cool it with ‘Cheers,’ but I’ve since noticed that maybe .02% of the people I email with sign off this way, which leads me to believe that the person who warned me was correct: ‘Cheers’ is a salutation for dolts, one I shouldn’t be using in correspondence if I want to be, like, a legitimate person. Since this revelation that ‘Cheers’ is not okay and that I, by extension, am not okay, I’ve become unsure of how to complete an email but also unsure of my place in this fickle world, a world where we listen to Under the Table and Dreaming at an impossibly low volume and only through headphones, where unfashionable boots are the subject of child molester-levels of scorn; a world where Josh Schwartz just can’t seem to get it right and the Piano Man is just a piano man; a world that I’m not quite sure I have a place in. Cheers? TC mark

image – Amazon

More From Thought Catalog

5 Formerly Popular Things I Guess I'm Not Supposed To Like Anymore? is cataloged in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
  • Anonymous

    People still watch The Bachelor, too?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003360283220 Louie Schmogey

    nice article, I don’t miss DMB at all

    cheers,some guy

  • bee

    at least you’re not signing your emails off with “Best” 

    • Lindseycm

      oh no!  what’s wrong with Best? 

  • Anonymous

    I had a few years in my early 20s when I recognized that I wasn’t supposed to like some of these, and other things. And then I crossed this specific threshold of coolness. On the other side, liking these things doesn’t make you incrementally less cool; it makes these now-lame things slightly cooler because someone as cool as you still likes them. Arrogance is the key to self-acceptance. 

    And yes, “Crush” still makes me wanna bone hard and meaningfully. Possibly because I lost my virginity while traveling up the east coast to see multiple DMB shows with my boyfriend when I was 17. How beautifully fucking millennial is that?

  • Alyssa

    Not sure if this is just a Miami thing but the first thing that came to mind for me was Drake.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1421074902 Ross Sciarrillo

    This article was written for girls.  NO FARE

    • Joop

      Free ride?! Sweet!

  • http://twitter.com/kyleangeletti Kyle Angeletti

    Billy Joel will always be cool. 

  • http://newhandsweepstakes.com/contributors/brian-mcelmurry/ Brian M

    Uggs can’t be killed. I like them, they’re everywhere.  especially with tights being so popular. And Billy Joel is cool, minus “We didn’t start the fire.” that song makes me laugh.

  • Danjg

    Never understood why Uggs got so popular, they’re ugly as sin, from a guys point of view. And Cheers will always be used here in England.

    • Fuzzy Wuzzy

      Did you read the part about “my feet are making love to a freshly pressed burrito”? Yeah.

  • jpshipz

    I had a TA last semester who signed emails AND said goodbye in face-to-face interactions with “Cheers”, and everybody thought it was adorable. That could be because he’s the sweetest, most jovial guy ever and managed to make game theory sessions comprehensible. Also, he’s German or something like that and speaks with a very soft accent, so he’s exactly the kind of person who is allowed to say “Cheers” multiple times daily.

  • Denise

    I recommend signing off on your emails with

    “Simply Jazzed”

  • http://twitter.com/tannnyaya Tanya Salyers

    Why is The Bachelor > Gossip Girl? 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathon-Ferrari/100001319787228 Jonathon Ferrari

    Anyone else sort of interested in what Mein Kompf would sound like in a Karaoke setting? I’m positive the Germans have already created a techno beat for it.

  • Bealtaine

    You are not alone on the ed westwick front-even if the plot is completely rubbish , I will continue to watch for his face :P

  • http://twitter.com/thenotoriousmnm Melissa Messer

    Just pretend to like them “ironically” and then you’ll be fine. Or let your freak flag fly and giggle knowing everyone is secretly doing the exact same thing. The love affair between myself and DMB will never be over. If this were the Titanic I would share the door.

    • rachel

      or how about we like whatever we want and not use “irony” as a last refuge

      pathetic

  • Anonymous

    How dare you, Steph. Billy Joel is a national goddamn treasure.

  • big fan

    New for this author, DMB has been the top touring band for the last decade.  They are one of the last bands that acually PLAYS THEIR MUSIC and doesnt have a million outfit changes or fireworks and rising stages to cover up the fact that their music really sucks.  They have left their ticket prices almost the exact same as they were 20 years ago.  They have continued to put out albums while not sacrificing their sound for whats “popular” today.  DMB is music.  Maybe if he wore a meat dress or played a bunch of music off a labtop he would be much better….

    • Wdeanis

      “one of the last bands”… You’re not looking very hard if you truly believe that.

    • Confused

      whats a labtop?

  • riff

    “And how can you deny that the intro to “Ants Marching” makes your day a smidgen brighter every time you hear it?”Years ago on my first miserable job I hummed this to myself every morning going to work. I had to.

  • Chris

    Great article, DMB isnt an acronym tho. 

  • hanners montana

    i think it was about this time last year that due to unemployment and lack of social interaction i took the internet and especially lifestyle journalism like this site very seriously in the comments section and i remember writing a rude comment that was dismissive of stephanie goerogrenopolos (sp?) and i think i checked up on it for likes and threading. god. glad i finally got a job.

  • Sophia

    I just discovered Dave Matthews Band last year, so it’s in full swing in my music-listening repertoire. I don’t care how old or “uncool” it is, it’s SO GOOD. I’ve been missing out!

  • JEReich

    My favorite part of this entire year thus far happened after my great-aunt’s funeral (that’s right, a funeral), and involved distant cousins pointing out the Italian restaurant that Billy Joel wrote about in “Italian Restaurant”.  Billy Joel is GOLDEN, Ponyboy.  

    That being said, this article was hilarious.  Favorite line: 
    “But now? “Two Step” shuffles onto your iPod during a party and everyone looks at you like you’re karaoking the Mein Kampf audiobook.”GENIUS.

    • JEReich

      (Sorry about the weird quote format.  You’re awesome, Stephanie!)

  • Anonymous

    From the title, I thought this was a Ryan O’Connell article.

  • Caleb Hildenbrandt

    All my favourite professors signed off emails with “cheers,” so I do it too, now, although admittedly it seems pretty much exclusively an academic thing, so quite possibly behind the current cool.

  • ohcrepe

    oh god, now I’m youtubing DMB songs and reliving high school memories. Satellite, Tripping Billies, Lie in Our Graves??? omg…high school memories are flooding me. Please revisit DMB more in your articles.

blog comments powered by Disqus