Thought Catalog

Manhattan Neighborhoods In Six Words Or Less

  • 0
A combination of egocentrism and overzealous real estate agents has led to an overabundance of Manhattan neighborhoods. Here’s a guide to the most popular of them, created with the Attention Deficit Generation in mind.

Marble Hill – Basically the Bronx

Inwood – So far away, why bother

Washington Heights – Good to know Spanish here

Morningside Heights – Columbia trying to make ‘SoHa’ happen

Sugar Hill – Bougie, once upon a time

East Harlem – Sneaker capital of the world

Upper East Side – Old people love it

Upper West Side – Your nanny and kids love it

Columbus Circle – Tenth circle of hell

Rockefeller Center – No one lives here, I hope

Diamond District – Not as fun as it sounds

Theater District – Overdressed people with no style

Turtle Bay – Home of drink specials and wings

Midtown East – Drink here until you’re 21

Tudor City – What is this, even

Times Square – Nightmare for epileptics and everyone

Hell’s Kitchen – Great place to pick up hookers

Garment District – Better name: Bedazzled Ringer-Tee Row

Herald Square – There’s a Macy’s and other stuff

Koreatown – Korean BBQ and karaoke FTW

Murray Hill – Frat boys graduate then move here

Union Square – Wallet hasn’t been stolen? Go shopping

Kips Bay – “It’s a hell of a town”

NoMad – Nickname never stuck, mark as ‘Irrelevant’

Chelsea – Homophobic need not apply

Flatiron District – Looking for SVA? Check American Apparel

Stuyvesant Town – You’ll get lost here if stoned

Meatpacking District – Avoid roofies in your $18 cocktail

Alphabet City – Most expensive place to get stabbed

East Village – Score ramen, a tattoo, or heroin

Little Italy – There are some Italian flags here

Greenwich Village – You can’t afford that townhouse, sorry

West Village – NYU and lots of blue hair

Lower East Side – Narrow bars; be skinny to enter

SoHo – Don’t wear heels here

Chinatown – ‘No smoking’ in bars doesn’t apply

TriBeCa – Celebrities live here, for some reason

South Street Seaport – Where the best buskers perform TC mark

image – CJ Isherwood
Powered by Revcontent

Read more books in 2018…

Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

“These essays are slowly changing my life, as the title promises. As my friends’ birthday come along, they will all be receiving a copy of this wonderful book.” – Janie

Amazon: 4.8/5 stars
Goodreads: 4.29/5 stars

Click for an inspiring read!

More From Thought Catalog

Manhattan Neighborhoods In Six Words Or Less is cataloged in , , , , , , ,
  • Lillian

    amazing

  • gazeclear

    i love this. please write more.

  • gazeclear

    i love this. please write more.

  • gazeclear

    i love this. please write more.

  • dayna

    “Stuyvesant Town – You’ll get lost here if stoned” ha! a friend lived here. trying to find a building in the dark… in the light…just crazy.

    • chachi

      yeah try finding your way out of stuytown on acid…. not easy.

  • Guest

    “what is this, even”
    “celebrities live here, for some reason”
    “nightmare for epileptics and everyone”

    genius

  • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

    DO BROOKLYN.

  • Amber

    “Greenwich Village – You can’t afford that townhouse, sorry”

    LOL

  • vejrubia

    This doesn’t help at all for someone who wants to go there.

    I’ll take my chances with East Harlem, Tudor City, Meatpacking District and … Chelsea.

    • internetstranger

      Chelsea is great! Shoulda stuck with Chelsea!

  • Anonymous

    Flatiron District: Shake Shack

  • http://twitter.com/ingenuegle Egle Makaraite

    Midtown East, hey good to know this exists! (I’m not 21 yet)Also, lower east side = east village, no? And how is the west village different from greenwich in general? Isn’t greenwich divided into east and west??

  • Guest

    I had never ever heard of kips bay until I fucked someone who lived there.  

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    Super funny. Brooklyn next!!!

  • Leah

    we compiled brooklyn six-word neighborhood descrips over on flavorwire: http://flavorwire.com/11473/bucking-stereotypes-your-hood-in-six-words

  • Comic Insult

    Gramercy?! 

  • Sean S

    This was funny. You should do it for brooklyn

  • Best Guest

    Thanks for being honest about Manhattan being neither dangerous nor gritty.

  • AM

    How about FiDi!  I’m sure you have some good material for that one.

  • http://twitter.com/ebroms Elisabeth B.

    NYU is Greenwich Village, not West Village. 

  • Keriann Gannon

    Can someone write one of these for Paris?

  • http://mapurbane.com/manhattan-neighborhoods-expressed-words/ Manhattan: Neighborhoods Expressed With Words | Urbane

    […] As Stephanie Georgopulos points out, […]

blog comments powered by Disqus