Manhattan Neighborhoods In Six Words Or Less

A combination of egocentrism and overzealous real estate agents has led to an overabundance of Manhattan neighborhoods. Here’s a guide to the most popular of them, created with the Attention Deficit Generation in mind.

Marble Hill – Basically the Bronx

Inwood – So far away, why bother

Washington Heights – Good to know Spanish here

Morningside Heights – Columbia trying to make ‘SoHa’ happen

Sugar Hill – Bougie, once upon a time

East Harlem – Sneaker capital of the world

Upper East Side – Old people love it

Upper West Side – Your nanny and kids love it

Columbus Circle – Tenth circle of hell

Rockefeller Center – No one lives here, I hope

Diamond District – Not as fun as it sounds

Theater District – Overdressed people with no style

Turtle Bay – Home of drink specials and wings

Midtown East – Drink here until you’re 21

Tudor City – What is this, even

Times Square – Nightmare for epileptics and everyone

Hell’s Kitchen – Great place to pick up hookers

Garment District – Better name: Bedazzled Ringer-Tee Row

Herald Square – There’s a Macy’s and other stuff

Koreatown – Korean BBQ and karaoke FTW

Murray Hill – Frat boys graduate then move here

Union Square – Wallet hasn’t been stolen? Go shopping

Kips Bay – “It’s a hell of a town”

NoMad – Nickname never stuck, mark as ‘Irrelevant’

Chelsea – Homophobic need not apply

Flatiron District – Looking for SVA? Check American Apparel

Stuyvesant Town – You’ll get lost here if stoned

Meatpacking District – Avoid roofies in your $18 cocktail

Alphabet City – Most expensive place to get stabbed

East Village – Score ramen, a tattoo, or heroin

Little Italy – There are some Italian flags here

Greenwich Village – You can’t afford that townhouse, sorry

West Village – NYU and lots of blue hair

Lower East Side – Narrow bars; be skinny to enter

SoHo – Don’t wear heels here

Chinatown – ‘No smoking’ in bars doesn’t apply

TriBeCa – Celebrities live here, for some reason

South Street Seaport – Where the best buskers perform TC mark

image – CJ Isherwood

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Manhattan Neighborhoods In Six Words Or Less is cataloged in , , , , , , ,
  • Lillian

    amazing

  • gazeclear

    i love this. please write more.

  • gazeclear

    i love this. please write more.

  • gazeclear

    i love this. please write more.

  • dayna

    “Stuyvesant Town – You’ll get lost here if stoned” ha! a friend lived here. trying to find a building in the dark… in the light…just crazy.

    • chachi

      yeah try finding your way out of stuytown on acid…. not easy.

  • Guest

    “what is this, even”
    “celebrities live here, for some reason”
    “nightmare for epileptics and everyone”

    genius

  • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

    DO BROOKLYN.

  • Amber

    “Greenwich Village – You can’t afford that townhouse, sorry”

    LOL

  • vejrubia

    This doesn’t help at all for someone who wants to go there.

    I’ll take my chances with East Harlem, Tudor City, Meatpacking District and … Chelsea.

    • internetstranger

      Chelsea is great! Shoulda stuck with Chelsea!

  • Anonymous

    Flatiron District: Shake Shack

  • http://twitter.com/ingenuegle Egle Makaraite

    Midtown East, hey good to know this exists! (I’m not 21 yet)Also, lower east side = east village, no? And how is the west village different from greenwich in general? Isn’t greenwich divided into east and west??

  • Guest

    I had never ever heard of kips bay until I fucked someone who lived there.  

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    Super funny. Brooklyn next!!!

  • Leah

    we compiled brooklyn six-word neighborhood descrips over on flavorwire: http://flavorwire.com/11473/bucking-stereotypes-your-hood-in-six-words

  • Comic Insult

    Gramercy?! 

  • Sean S

    This was funny. You should do it for brooklyn

  • Best Guest

    Thanks for being honest about Manhattan being neither dangerous nor gritty.

  • AM

    How about FiDi!  I’m sure you have some good material for that one.

  • http://twitter.com/ebroms Elisabeth B.

    NYU is Greenwich Village, not West Village. 

  • Keriann Gannon

    Can someone write one of these for Paris?

  • http://mapurbane.com/manhattan-neighborhoods-expressed-words/ Manhattan: Neighborhoods Expressed With Words | Urbane

    […] As Stephanie Georgopulos points out, […]

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