Remembering Full House via Musical Moments

The ‘90s were rife with family-friendly television programming. Perhaps the single most embraced half-hour of wholesome TV was Full House, the story of three men raising three girls (more or less). The show explored the unconventional, non-nuclear family, and in doing so, foreshadowed the changes in American culture that would unfold in coming decades. As a product of an unconventional marriage, I can appreciate the sentiment. But this is only one ingredient that makes Full House the quintessential ‘90s show. The other? The continuous, kitschy, unapologetic use of music as a plot device.

Think about the first time you watched Empire Records. Who didn’t want to work in a record store after that? These people made going to work seem like something you’d pay to experience, not the other way around. They came into work when they weren’t scheduled, just to shoot the shit. The entire staff was seemingly “in the know” with regard to every song, pop culture reference, and band ever. They only paid mind to the hyperbole pop star Rex Manning if they were trying to sleep with him; otherwise they were a perfect army of alt soldiers. They were even capable of breaking out into song at any given moment. This is showcased several times throughout the movie; including a group performance of Seems by Queen Sarah Saturday, and in the fundraiser scene in which Gina and Berko perform “Sugarhigh” from the roof of the store. It’s only as a “Year 2000+” adult that you revisit that movie and think, “What the fuck?” None of it was plausible – looking back, it’s not even desirable. But that was the ‘90s: an endless parade of musical montages dressed up as reality.

Shows similar to Full House failed to fully realize the ‘90s dream. There was Family Matters, which had one episode in which Donna Summer made a cameo appearance and sang “Last Dance.” There was an episode where Laura drapes herself over a piano and sings “Saving All My Love For You,” but what else? The Urkman? Spare me, please. Saved by the Bell gave us the fictional band Zack Attack, or Slater and Jessie would occasionally dress up like Julius Caesar and Cher and cover Michael Bolton for one of the million Bayside High proms. Insufficient when compared with your entire TV family performing on stage with the Beach Boys, for Christ’s sake. Music on these shows, for the most part, showed a level of ignorance on the writers’ behalf. What the hell was that .MIDI instrumental shit that was always playing at The Max? Why were a bunch of teenagers obsessing over Michael Bolton?

Full House showed awareness about the way people consume music; the show thoughtfully developed plotlines around the emotional connection one has with it. Here, we remember the best music-themed episodes Full House offered us.

Beach Boy Bingo – 12-year-old DJ wins tickets to a live Beach Boys performance via a radio show – but she’s only granted two tickets, which the family proceeds to salivate over. They all employ histrionics to prove that he or she is the member of the family who deserves the second ticket. DJ is perplexed as to whom she should take along. This is relatable, right? Having to choose which member of your family deserves to be “treated” to something at the expense of the others? What doesn’t make sense is that Danny doesn’t play the power position of DAD by forcing DJ into taking him to the concert. The two fake uncles are living under the dad’s roof; the siblings are like, five years old, and truth be told? Life didn’t really need to become so complicated. In the end, the Beach Boys invite the whole damn family to share the stage with them.

Gotta Dance – Stephanie takes up professional dancing. She busts her ass, struggles with practice, and thinks about quitting several times. When she hears that her group performance of ‘Motown Philly’ might land her an entire summer of dancing boot camp, she throws the performance on purpose and busts out some cray cray dance moves. All of her fellow dancers are like, “Homie, what?” The performance is cut short and Stephanie flails her uncoordinated ass backstage. Insert inspirational pep talk from dad here, in which the Tanners decide Stephanie will dance on her own terms going forward. Stephanie and her dance group give ‘Motown Philly’ another go and this time, girlfriend kills it – and gives tween white girls everywhere hip-hop skills to aspire to. Also, fully grown women of any race. Girl could move.

To Joey, With Love – Jesse gets kicked out of the Rippers for his lack of commitment to the band and begins auditioning guitarists for his new venture, Hot Daddy and the Monkey Puppets. He settles on Viper, a leather-clad stud who wins Jesse over with his insane guitar skills and woos DJ in the process. Basically, exactly what happened to Selena. Except for the murder part. The relationship eventually fizzles out, but every teen girl has to date a hot, rebellious guitar player at least once in her sitcom life.

Baby Love – Michelle gets majorly obsessed with Aunt Becky’s nephew Howie, who visits from out of town for a few days. His departure leaves her heartbroken at age five or so. Who hasn’t been there? She’s totally joyless without her boo, so Uncle Jesse writes her a song called, ‘Michelle’s Smiling’ to cheer her up. The tune doesn’t really do the trick, but it does reinforce Uncle Jesse’s constant need to steal the spotlight via his musical capabilities.

We Got the Beat – Stephanie and her poison-friend Gia form a band with Kimmy Gibbler and a filler character. Naturally, Uncle Jesse finds a way to be involved by becoming their overbearing manager.  Instead of practicing their vocals, the girls become total divas and spend most of their time shopping for cropped t-shirts and glitter. Uncle Jesse is fired when he tries to advise the girls that their sound is a hot mess. The girls perform ‘I Saw the Sign’ (an extremely appropriate cover song choice for a 1995 girl band) at the Smash Club. They bomb and lose the talent competition they’d entered. Steph reluctantly apologizes to Uncle Jesse, the well-intentioned attention whore.

While Full House would occasionally reach (really, really far) in order to allow storylines to come full-circle, their commitment to using music as an emotional, evolving component in its character’s lives can’t be denied. I’ll take a shoddy cover of ‘Forever’ over the completely outlandish ‘Urkman’ song and dance any day. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    I wonder if Bob Saget danced to the songs while on his oxycontin haze of the 90's.

  • http://twitter.com/KelleyHoffman kelley hoffman

    beach boys perform barbara ann on full house, they also perform it on home improvement w/ wilson, and while they dont perform it on saved by the bell the boys lip synch it at their sleepover. makes me think i will forever love beach boys/barbara ann because of subliminal association. also until recently thought barbara ann was 'bop around'

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      makes more sense than ba ba ba, ba ba ba ram, which is what i thought it was. that is one of my favorite post-jessie/kelly episodes of sbtb, though.

  • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

    what about the episode when they're in disney world and uncle jesse freaking sings a love song to becky on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people?

    WHAT ABOUT THAT

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      i think i was 9-10 when that episode happened and thus 'too cool' to acknowledge it

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    TGIF. I loved Save by the Bell. I miss it like a blanket that doesn't make me work 40 hours and pay bills.

  • http://www.fifthofeightdesign.com Kate Napleton

    Forever – Jesse & the Rippers… DUH

    At Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse's wedding!

    If every word I said
    could make you laugh
    I'd talk forever

    http://youtu.be/p46pPsELPx4

  • ahclevergirl

    gia. i wanted her to be my bff. then i got a real life gia poison friend and it sucked and all we did was get in trouble.

  • http://twitter.com/karinabthatsme Karina Briski

    HOW DID YOU REMEMBER THESE.
    …AND YET, forget Forever?!

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      Hahaha. Everyone brings up 'Forever' – I gave it a shoutout in the last 'graf, just wasn't a big fan. I know. Selfish :[

  • Diversion20032001

    This stuff may work for tv sitcom fans. But for most Beach Boys fans, this period of time should be forgotten, and the video destroyed. It is the definition of everything that was wrong and is wrong with the band and American culture.
    You talk about a “level of ignorance” on the writers behalf? How about on the audience's behalf? Does anyone know who wrote and sang Forever? For those who know, and care, Stamos' cover of Dennis Wilson's song (and his pretending to be a member of the band) is pathetic and cynical.
    But what the heck–the only purpose of music is to sell nostalgia, so who cares, right? Just put on the Hawaiian shirt, get drunk and sing along with whoever happens to be onstage. How empty. How appropriate.

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      …How 90s!

      I appreciate your thoughts on this.

  • http://xtothequ.tumblr.com xq

    oh my god, i'm so glad everyone brought up Uncle Jesse and the Rippers doing “Forever” – best thing ever.

  • kelly

    I agree with your sentiments about Full House, but let us not forget hot sundae from Saved by the Bell…

    • http://stephgeorge.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

      I cannot deny Hot Sundae was genius and made me start listening to the Pointer Sisters and doing caffeine pills.

  • http://phmadore.com P. H. Madore

    TGIF 4 LYFE YO.

  • allie

    what about tommy page?!!!

  • Deeds

    Oh let me be (oh let him be)
    Your teddy bear
    I just wanna be your teddy bear

    Michelle's Fav Bedtime melody =)

  • Daniellenevin

    Was Marty Stuart ever a cameo appearance on that show? For some reason I remember him and Jesse comparing hair tips?

  • 790FM

    Baby Beluga, anyone?

blog comments powered by Disqus